Haven’t been writing in my Blog much lately. Writing for school simply takes all my writing energy away. So much has happened and will continue to happen around the Ramirez household.
Last week I had to go in person to school to complete a five hour requirement at the writing center. It was very interesting and at times challenging. Needless to say, I felt inadequate and out of place – great place to be, huh? On one occasion as I was walked across campus I was engaged in my constant ritual of feeling out of place and of not belonging. The LORD allowed me to see a gentleman who had some handicaps. He was slowly making his way across campus with the help of a cane and with a backpack full of books. I felt so little for feeling the way I did about myself. I guess the LORD knew I needed to see this man again, because on a totally different day and time I saw him again. It really spoke to me about forgetting about my “incapacities, inabilities, etc.” and forging forth on the journey that the LORD has planned for me at this point of my life.
On another occasion I came out of the writing center with a smile. I had so much joy because the LORD had shown me that I was actually retaining some of the material I have been learning. I said, “LORD this isn’t a waste of time after all.” I praised the LORD as I walked through the campus and to my car.
I tell you, this school thing continues to challenge me. I stand amazed that even through this journey the LORD is teaching and molding me…HE does all things well and uses all for HIS glory.
Last night I heard this story:
(Leti’s version) There was this little girl that had a strand of fake pearls. She loved her necklace and wore it all the time. Her Father lovingly asked, “Can I have your strand of pearls?” The little girl would respond, “No, but you can have this or that instead, but not my pearl necklace.” The Father would simply smile. Time would go by and the Father, once again, would ask the little girl for her strand of pearls, always getting the same answer. This went on for a while. One day, the little girl decided to go ahead and give her cherished strand of pearls to her Loving Father. She approached him and willingly gave her strand of pearls to her Father. He asked her, “Are you sure?” She said, “Yes.” Her Father smiled and put his hand in his pocket. He pulled out a container and gave it to the little girl. When the little girl opened it, she found a strand of REAL pearls.
Matthew 10:39 – He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
2 Corinthians 4:18 – While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Romans 8:32 – He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
When we say, “Jesus paid the price I could not pay” or “Jesus died for me, that I might be set free” – what do those “phrases” mean to you? Do we really understand what we are saying? Have we, even remotely, grasped what this cost and meant for Our Saviour Jesus Christ?
Today I read this meaning of “propitiation = ‘a sacrifice that bears God’s wrath to the end and in so doing changes God’s wrath toward us into favor’ Grudem, Systematic Theology”. I’ve also heard that justification is not only as if we had never sinned, but as if we had always obeyed – Wow!
We cannot save ourselves. We cannot maintain our salvation. We cannot earn our salvation. We are saved by grace alone. It is a free gift. However, this salvation cost an incredible price. One that, this side of heaven, we cannot even begin to comprehend nor grasp.
Once again, the LORD has been having me revisit Greg Harris’ book, The Darkness and the Glory. We are studying the book of Romans in our church (Women’s Bible Study). We are dealing with salvation by grace alone. I believe that there are those times that with our “familiarity” of certain terms or phrases we don’t grasp the fullness of that statement.
Only Jesus Christ could pay the price we could not pay.
Let me quote from the book:
The mere thought of the aggregate burden of one’s own sin – let alone the weight of every sin ever committed from Adam onward – overwhelms us…We possess neither spiritual nor mental capacities to understand it completely. We could more easily fathom numbering the sands of all the beaches in the world, giving each granule a specific name, and then recalling each grain of sand by name. Multiply this by billions, and you will begin to understand some of the depth of God’s love through Jesus Christ. We cannot even begin to seize it in thought – the magnitude of such a proposal rests only within the Godhead. No wonder angles fervently desire to look into the things related to salvation. No other event in history past or present even remotely compares to the divine love demonstrated that one dark day – as the Servant of Yahweh had His form altered and His appearance disfigured more than anyone who ever has or ever will live.
God did not look away from Jesus as the Lamb atoned for sins. During the darkness the Father looked fully on the Son. Each knew what the Other was doing during this unique second aspect of the cup that the Father had determined that His Son must drink. Is it any wonder that He was marred more than any Son of Adam ever had been (Isaiah 52:14)? How could He possible not be?
For three hours – divine wrath inflicted and received by the One alone able to do so.
For three hours – silent, willful submission by the Lamb of God, the Servant of Yahweh.
For three hours – the Father smote the Son with the full wrath He alone could render.
And then – He stopped.
Have you ever heard something like, “we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus”? I remember Pastor Jim Orate would always say, “May the LORD work in us, so that He can work through us”.
Yesterday, I began my day as usual. After spending time with the LORD I ventured out and drove to the gym. My body was not cooperating. My brain was “mush” – mid-terms, late nights, etc. had taken its toll on me. But, hey, I was still going to be diligent and disciplined. On Tuesday, I almost ran out sobbing in the middle of the class. Wow, the pressure we put upon ourselves! But, I didn’t. I stuck it through like the “go-getter” that I am. However, by Wednesday, there was nothing happening…energy, stamina and determination had all checked out.
I believe God is a personal God. I believe God cares about everything that happens to me. And, so I believe this morning HE knew I needed a special encounter with HIM.
What happened was that at the end of my gym class someone asked me if I was okay. I gave my normal answer, “I’m okay.” But she once again asked, she pursued it; I genuinely felt she wanted to know. I shared a little – I don’t’ know that I even knew what all was happening inside me. Then she asked me, “Would you like me to pray with you?” At this point I looked around and thought, “At the gym!?” But, hey, I am a Christian, I should be okay praying anywhere, and if this person has the courage to ask and pursue this then I need to be okay with being prayed with – at the gym. (Funny how my mind had this full on conversation; or was it a struggle?). I finally said, “okay.” She held my hands and began to pray. I, of course, began to cry. What she did next floored me. She gently embraced me and continued to pray. By this time I am sobbing. She held me for what, to me, seemed an eternity.
My God pursued me and met me where I was. He knew what I needed. He loves me so much that He used this person to hold me and pray with me, even though I was sweaty and stinky.
How many times have I neglected to heed His voice? How many times have I disregarded His still small voice that tells me go pray with or hug that person? How many times have I been in a hurry and haven’t had time to be used by Him, to minister to someone in need?
I, for one, am thankful that this person took the time to pray and hold me. I hope and pray that I will be more sensitive to those around me, to those that need a special touch.
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