Newsflash!

Yes, my friends, it is official - drum roll please...I am totally irrevocably crazy en la cabeza (in the head). After many tests, proddings and appointments (my own appointments this time)...drum roll please...the tests show "NOTHING-NOTHING-NOTHING". Don't get me wrong, I am thankful, but when you physically feel the way I do, you would expect something. But no, to no surprise of mine, it all came back fine. Go home, Leticia, and live a wonderful life!!!

Discouragement...

This morning it is dark and cloudy outside. In fact, right now it's raining. As I sit in my very warm and cozy home I can't help but feel this awful dark cloud over me. Yes, I love the Lord. Yes, I am an extremely blessed person, yet this "feeling". I thought, "to be like Enoch. To take a long walk and then be no-more." Job felt discouraged and thought, "why was I even born". Elijah thought, "okay I'm done, take me to heaven". (I'm paraphrasing you know.) And of course, the Lord reminds me of that Scripture that says, "why are you downcast, o my soul, hope in God." It's all in my-big-head...yet, the "feelings". Can I just go to sleep...can it all be done...

The Lord is so awesome...He hears even my faintest sigh...

Daniel 9:23 "...you are greatly beloved..."

Daniel 10:11 "...O Daniel, man greatly beloved..."

Daniel 10:17-19 "...As for me, no strength remains in me now, nor is any breath left in me." Then again, the one having the likeness of a man TOUCHED ME AND STRENGTHENED ME." And he said, "O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes, be strong!" So when he spoke to me I was strengthened, and said, "Let my Lord speak, for you have strengthened me."

So, yes, He will strengthen me...He will uphold me with His righteous right hand. To be in His presence is much better, but to remain is needful. I walk this walk and sometimes I barely crawl. Thanks be to God who alone is worthy, who alone strengthens these feeble hands to do His work. And yes, I still believe that the SON still shines behind all these dark-ominous-clouds.

Sunday at Church

Glory To God

Blessed be the LORD God, the God of Israel, WHO ONLY DOES WONDROUS THINGS! (Psalm 72:18). Allow me to boast in the LORD...in June of 1993 I asked the Lord Jesus Christ into my heart. He became my Lord, my Savior, my King. Back then all I knew is that I was once blind and now I saw; I was once lost and now I was found. All I could do was to bow before this King who chose me, who called me by name and who took a piece of trash and gave it (me) meaning and purpose. This King who redeemed me by His precious blood and who imputed to me His righteousness and clothed me with beautiful white garments and made me white as snow hasn't stopped there. This was more than enough for me. If I would have gone to heaven then, it would have been enough. Yet He has done and will continue to do many, many more "wondrous things".

Let us fast forward to today and wow!!! Today I sat in church (spanish church at that, a story in itself). I sat there and once again meditated in how great My God is. Truly what is impossible with men with God isn't, for there is nothing impossible for the Lord. One of my nephews led worship, his wife sang, my daughter played the keyboard in the worship team, another nephew taught us the Word of God from the pulpit, in the pews sat one of my nieces with her entire family, another niece and her boyfriend, my brother and his wife sat at another place, my hubby is serving...I could keep going on and on and on. In Psalm 27:13 it says, "I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." I for one have SEEN "the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." And since I know that My Jesus is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, I know that his wondrous works don't end here. He is going to continue to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond all I could ask and pray. Praise be to God who alone does wondrous things!!!

Thanksgiving 2007

Thanksgiving Day was here and gone. Shopping, cooking, dishes (where do all the dishes come from???), etc., all a thing of the past. I thank the Lord for all that He did and He continues to do. He continues to mold and shape me. He continues to show me that I am to teach and share the things that He has taught and shared with me through others. So once again we gathered together at my nieces and nephews home. We chopped and peeled and stirred. Once again everyone was very happy with the results. This year the Lord added to our family. The Sanchez Family and Luis, all brothers and sisters from our church. I believe we all had a good time. My nephew, Jose, shared from God's Word and some shared from their heart. Soooooo, Thanksgiving 2007 is but a memory. At the end we all just sat there, we couldn't move because we all ate too much.

Happy Thanksgiving - Enjoy!

"My Utmost For His Highest - ...To be shallow is not a sign of being sinful, nor is shallowness an indication that there is no depth to your life at all - the ocean has a shore. Even the shallow things of life, such as eating and drinking, walking and talking, are ordained by God. These are all things our Lord did. He did them as the Son of God, and He said, "A disciple is not above his teacher..." (Matthew 10:24)"

On this Thanksgiving Day when, it seems, all we do is eat, the Lord had to remind me to "enjoy the eating and drinking". Don't be so serious and uptight. Don't want everything perfect (according to Leti). Relax...Enjoy...Laugh! Today is what we have and we should enjoy it. So many changes have occurred in my life and the life of my family that we need to take each opportunity to enjoy each other.

He will yet fill your mouth with laughing, and your lips with rejoicing. Job 8:21

Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing. Then they said among the nations, "The Lord has done great things for them." The Lord has done great things for us, whereof we are glad. Psalm 126:2-3

So let us rejoice for truly the Lord has done great things!!!

God is Able

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 -- Try as we might, we cannot change another person's heart. Only God can. God alone is our hope, our very present hope in the time of need and trouble. When will we learn to simply do what God says: to pray and not faint, to persist and not quit, to wait upon Him until He brings it to pass? --- Kay Arthur

Yes, when will I learn to trust? A trust that is unchanging, unshakable regardless of what comes my way. God is so faithful and is always giving me His Unchanging Word to stabilize me. And so often He simply reminds me of what He has already told me, as if to say, "remember I already gave you a promise about this. Don't fear, it's all going to work out for good." He gently calms me and embraces me and fills my heart with hope...hope that doesn't disappoint. I'm like the disciples when Jesus said to them, "Let us cross over to the other side." While on their way a "great windstorm arose". And of course the disciples accused Jesus, "...do You not care that we are perishing?" So often, Jesus gives us His Word/Promise, but on our way we are hit by a storm/onslaught/bumps and we start doubting, wondering, questioning. Does the Lord understand? How much longer? It's getting worse!, etc. Yet, Jesus has never moved. He hasn't changed. He is still on the throne. In this same story Jesus tells the disciples (after calming the storm), "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?"

O God I believe, help my unbelief!!! "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26)" So may I "pray and not faint, persist and not quit, wait upon Him until He brings it to pass".

Hope That Doesn't Dissapoint

I read the following on my Kay Arthur Desk Devotional:

"THE SON SETS YOU FREE. (So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36) For years Jack and I cried out to God for our oldest son, Tom. I did all I could to turn him around. Finally in 1991 God said, "Be still, Kay, and know that I am God." I was now to be quiet - no more talking, persuading, pleading, debating. To be still means to cease striving. What intimacy this brings - what utter dependence. Then, in 1992, God did what only God can do - He set our 37-year-old son free. And my, how he loves out Lord and His Word!"

And so as my heart aches, the Lord gives me exactly what I needed to hear. And the Lord fills my heart with hope, once again. As I walk this road, I am so thankful for men and women that have used their pen to share with others their hurts, pains, struggles and yes, their victories. The Word of God is full of such men and women. And there are many a devotional/book that have such encouragement. I am thankful for I know that I am not the first to walk this difficult road, and saddened to say that I won't be the last. But once again, the Spirit of the Living God, reminds me that ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD, TO THOSE THAT LOVE GOD AND THAT ARE THE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE. Lord Jesus lift up my crushed and weary soul...I love you!!!

Caregivers Gathering

We had our monthly "Caregivers" get together. We laughed, we cried, we shared. The Lord knows how we all needed this time away from the routine. The Lord tells us not to forsake the gathering together of the brethren, because He knows how much we all need it and benefit from it. So often we isolate ourselves and give room for our thoughts to run rampant and the enemy to bring havoc into our lives. As we gather together, we find that there truly is nothing new under the sun. The same woes that another is going through are so similar to those that I am going through. The encouragement that comes from these gatherings is PRICELESS. And what is more important than all this is that we get the Word of God, which is the only thing that will get us through whatever comes next.

Candy Bouquet Workshop

On Saturday my daughter, Angie, and I were invited by our good friend, Pat, to a Candy Bouquet Making Workshop. It was interesting and at times stressful. As some of you know, I don't have a "creative bone" in my body. But my friend, Pat, insists on challenging me. We won't even go into detail about the "CLAY"...I get the chills just thinking of this. But all kidding aside, it was a fun time to get together with friends. Life simply gets too busy and this was an opportunity to see those whom we love.

El Shaddai

I watched this video on a friends blog. It so filled my heart with a sense of awe and majesty. To think that the God of the Universe called me by name and has given me the privilege of calling Him "Abba" (Daddy). As I pondered upon this Majestic God that I serve, all I could say is "You are beyond my comprehension and my grasp". Then today when I read "Our Daily Bread", I couldn't help but be in even more wonderment. The Scripture reference is Psalm 8. In verse 3 it says, "When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have ordained, what is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You visit him?" Yes, when we consider all the greatness of it all, what are we? Then on the devotional part it said, "In a commencement address to graduating class of Miami University, columnist George Will gave some statistics that help to diminish our sense of self-importance. He pointed out that 'the sun around which Earth orbits is one of perhaps 400 billion stars in the Milky Way, which is a piddling galaxy next door to nothing much.' He added, 'there are perhaps 40 billion galaxies in the still-unfolding universe. If all the stars in the universe were only the size of the head of a pin, they still would fill Miami's Orange Bowl to overflowing more than 3 billion times.' There is a plus side to all that overwhelming data. The God who created and sustains our star-studded cosmos in its incomprehensible vastness loves us. And He doesn't just love the human race as an entity of multiplied billions. He loves us individually. What Paul exclaims to be true about himself is true about each of us in all our insignificance: Christ 'loved me and gave Himself for me' (Gal. 2:20)" When I read this I thought, "this is what I felt when I saw that video." The Lord looks down from heaven and sees ME. Love ME and desires to have fellowship with ME. How good is that! But wait there's more. (I love it when God, by His Holy Spirit, does this. He shows me something then He confirms it or reaffirms it with His word. Then He uses the writings of other saints to bring the point home or to clarify it or to confirm it...I love this about Him.) I read My Utmost and guess what Scripture reference it cited? Galatians 2:20! I love it! There was some sobering thoughts in this devo though (this devotional always exhorts and convicts). It said, "We should battle through our moods, feelings, and emotions into absolute devotion to the Lord Jesus." You know these awful feelings and emotions that just keep us down or get us discouraged. We need to diffuse them by the Word of God. Now think about this, "HE can present us faultless before the throne of God, inexpressibly pure, absolutely righteous, and profoundly justified. Stand in absolute adoring faith in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God - and righteousness and sanctification and redemption...(1 Cor. 1:30). How dare we talk of making a sacrifice for the Son of God! We are saved from Hell and total destruction, and then we talk about making sacrifices!" I told you this devotion totally convicts. Again, imagine the Creator of the Universe reaching down from heaven and desiring fellowship with us. Yes, we should bow in adoration for such grace and mercy showed us by this Holy God. And this devo ends with this, "Our lives should be an absolute hymn of praise resulting from perfect, irrepressible, triumphant belief." Doesn't this last sentence just make you want to grab our weapons (which I might add, are mighty in Christ Jesus) and set the captives free. So yes, Dear Sisters, we are in an incredible war, but let's look at what side we are on and who is our Commander-in-Chief...God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth. He is still on the throne, unwavering, not ruffled by the changing tide and TOTALLY IN CONTROL! Hallelujah! Praise You Jesus!

Exceedingly Abundantly

Ephesians 4:20-21 - "Now to HIM who is ABLE to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to HIM be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

This Scripture is so special to me in so many areas of my life. However, when it comes to my daughter, Angie, it says volumes more. My baby girl (who is now 21) was born premature. I won't go into all the details of all her ailments and developments, both physical and mental. All I will say is that when she was little the "specialists" would prepare us about how she would never be a "normal" person. Sometime ago the Lord put this thought in my mind about my baby girl, "Angie's weaknesses will be her strengths. For in her weakness, I WILL BE STRONG." I have clung on to this thought as well as numerous Scriptures that the Lord has given me regarding my daughter. And so this Sunday as she played with the worship team (she plays the keyboard), well what can I say. To see her up there worshipping the Lord with her gifts, gifts that HE has bestowed upon her in spite of it all. What a privilege that is for a Mom and a Dad. But as Angie would say, "not to me, but to HIS Name be the glory." And I can tell you that she truly KNOWS this. God doesn't see how we see. His thoughts are not ours. Nor His ways ours. Truly Lord you are worthy of all praise and honor. And to you my beautiful daughter, "We are so proud of you for hanging in there. We love you! Always keep your eyes on JESUS!"

Do We Speak The Same Language?

Okay, so what part of "don't cut any part of your body" is not clear enough??? Yesterday I came home to Mom holding/pressing one of her fingers with a wad of paper towels. She smiled and said, "I cut the ball of skin that was bothering me." She had been bugging me, asking me to cut it, but I refused (call me crazy or something). This is not the first time she has done that. Once before she cut, yes she cut, with scissors, as she did this time, a ball that had formed on her tongue. Yes, my friend you can cringe. I on the other hand I had to stop the bleeding, you see Mom takes blood thinners! So after giving her a sermon and biting down so hard I could feel my ears pop, I made things okay. Dinner had already been really...I'll let you guess, so now to top things off this...uh, does it ever end???

This morning I decorated some more to adjust to this new adventure in our life. I already have the hand-rail and the hand-shower, but now I added the pretty sticker decor to the bottom of the bath-tub. The mats I have used just don't seem to do the job and so today we opted for a new decor on the bath-tub. As I was putting them on, trying to make them look cute, Mom comes into the bathroom with her normal, "I got to go." I said (as I am on my knees, blocking the toilet bowl), "go to my bathroom." She is still standing there trying to figure out what I am doing, still making noises. "Mom go to my bathroom." Still standing there...I now turn around and say, "Go to the bathroom or you are going to pee-yourself". "O yeah." Then she comes back and finally figures out what I am doing as she tells me, "I almost died in there." Don't worry, she was and is okay. I just shook my head and chuckled to myself. I also thought, "how much has changed around here. And how much will it still change?" You know when we are bringing a baby home we prepare for that baby accordingly. This I guess is similar. So many similarities...what will be next???

Thought Provoking Poem

"THE MOST BEAUTIFUL RAINBOW"
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

A friend of mine e-mailed me the above poem. It so touched my heart. I read it after our family reunion and the Lord totally ministered to me. HE showed me that HE enabled me to "laugh too much", "take pictures", and "love like you've never been hurt" - wow! To love like Jesus loved. To live today as if tomorrow would never be. Lord teach me to number my days that I may gain a heart of wisdom.

"The Becerra Family Reunion"

My Uncle Eugenio just recently had a heart attack. He is my Dad's brother. He is in his 80's. He loves parties. After his heart attack, he decided, to have a party. He told his daughter, "It is time to get the Becerra Family together" (let me tell you that is quite an endeavor, given all the strife in the entire family). Yesterday was "The Becerra Family Reunion". I hadn't seen my aunts and uncles in years (lots of years). Some of my cousins I have never met, and those that I had met, I hardly remember. It was nice to see faces that I knew and faces that I'd never met. The Lord gave me the opportunity to talk to each one of my uncles and aunt individually. (Thank you Jesus, may you bring fruit from this time.) I also got a chance to speak with one of my cousins, who now cares, for my uncle. She shared somethings about her care giving her Dad that made me think, "how incredibly similar" all the care giving experiences are. There truly is nothing new under the sun. The Lord gave me the opportunity to encourage her and hug her. Truly nothing we go through is in vane. Mom, of course, used her tongue to leave a few wounds. (Lord, may we use our tongue wisely.) Our tongue can build or tear...may we always use it to build up those around us, especially if we haven't seen them in a while. I must say that I had a good time seeing those loved ones who were part of my Dad. I got to see pictures of my Dad when he was young and to hear him spoken of in a wonderful manner. There might be another time of getting the family together since not everyone was able to make it in such short notice. I actually look forward to this happening.

A Broken World

Yesterday was my brother Carlos' (we call him Charly) 46th birthday. My heart felt heavy and wished I could pick-up the phone and have a chat with him. I must admit, I don't think about him much. He lives in Mexico (long-story...). I probably haven't chatted with him (a descent form of conversation) since 2002. I remember when we were still a "whole" family. Those were the days. Sin destroys. The memories are there, but I miss "him" so. And you know what, I am no different. If it wasn't for Jesus in my life, I don't know where I would be (I can give you a couple guesses, though). Just the other day my son reminded me of things that he remembers...let me tell you, I wish I could erase "those memories" from his mind. So this day I wish my brother a happy birthday. I trust one day God will make him whole again. For there is nothing impossible with God...just look at me.

A Welcomed Break

My daughter and I actually got a chance to go see a MOVIE. Aside from charging an arm and a leg for this past time and the goodies, it was a really nice break in all this turmoil. Saturday afternoon I decided - ENOUGH! So Angie and I drove off and sat and laughed. I hadn't been to a movie in ages. We went to see The Bee Movie. I laughed so hard and forgot all that would await me outside that theater. Thank you Jesus for a welcomed break!

Sorely Misunderstood

Chronic illnesses - wow! Please entertain me as I take a walk through memory lane...back in 2002 I ended up in a fetal position not being able to move or talk or nothing. My good friend, Susie, drove me to the Doctor where both he and she looked at me with great concern and amazement. He (my doctor) I must say was God sent as was my faithful companion-friend. He put me through tests and specialists from A through Z. The conclusion..."Fibromyalgia", fibe-what??? I had never heard of this term nor its implications. Because God has made me the way I am, I read and educated myself in this "new", at least to me, term/disease. I won't bore you with the rest of the details, we could be here forever. Let's us come back to the here and now. This past week I haven't been feeling too spiffy, but then again what's new. I'm going about my week getting progressively worse. I do all the things I am used to doing to calm or soothe my ailments, but I am still getting worse. By Thursday, I can't hardly swallow, my chest feels like I have an elephant on top of it and my breathing is getting really difficult. In addition to all this I am getting progressively weaker. But the trooper that I am...I keep going with ALL my duties. By this time my hubby is "TELLING" me to get in to see the doctor. I had/have already made my mind the no-more-doctor-appointments-for-me. In fact, not to long ago I told one of my friends that I would not be going in to see the doctor unless I passed-out and had to be taken by an ambulance. Well, yesterday, was such a day, minus the ambulance. My hubby drove me to the doctor (which I already had an appointment, do to the encouraging of loved ones around me). I was sweating, my tongue was going numb and rolling, my face was tingly as if falling asleep, my left arm was limp and I was slowly going under. We are at the doctors...ekg, proving, checking, etc. The nurse-practitioner was absolutely belittling. I was made to feel like a hypochondriac - cause of course "NOTHING", DID I SAY NOTHING...showed up on the tests. Gave me some antacids (which I have been taking at home already) sent me to get bloodwork and x-ray of my chest (which I know will show NOTHING) and home I go to my daughter go is mad cause she is bored to death and Mom is playing sick (sorry I deviated there for a while). But you know what this triggered in my mind? I remembered my sister. My sister has already passed away, but I remember when she was alive, she never really felt good. I used to think, "are you sick again?" "now what is wrong?" (yeah, same attitudes I get now). In fact, the "regular" doctors sent her to a psychiatrist/psychologist cause "they" couldn't figure her out. The psychiatrist/psychologist put her on anti-depressants cause they couldn't figure out. In fact, they would tell her that she needed to get a job to get her mind busy. If anyone, was a hard worker, it was my sister. Maybe not on a "official" job site, but she worked a whole lot at home. She took care of all of us...and that my friend was a full-time joy with lots of overtime. She worked 24/7. I'm saddened at the fact that my sister did not have what the Lord has allowed me, in His grace and mercy, to have. I have this intimate-personal-relationship with My Jesus, who comforts me and reassures me that "it is not all in my head", "I am not crazy", "I am not making it up". O God, that my sister would have had this. Yet I know that He was and is the same yesterday, today and forever. He was and is from the beginning. And He was there for my sis. He is not a mean God, but a God of mercy and grace. He is and was gentle and loving. When I don't understand, I will trust in YOU. When nothing makes sense, I will trust in YOU. He will make ALL things beautiful in His time. O the depths of the riches, both of the power and wisdom of God, how unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out. For who has known the mind of the Lord, and who has become His counselor? Who has first given to Him, it shall be repaid to him.

May You o God gives us understanding, gives us compassion, give us sensibility. I don't need to understand...more of YOU and less of me. YOU will increase, I will decrease. In my weakness, YOU are strong.

Just for Fun!

Ezekiel 1

Ezekiel 1:28 - ...the APPEARANCE of the LIKENESS of the glory of the Lord. And when I saw IT, I feel upon my face, and I heard a voice of one that speaks.

What caused Ezekiel to fall upon his face? Not the grand colors, the fire, the living creatures or all the beauty and spectacle of the whole vision. What caused Ezekiel to fall upon his face was "the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord." It wasn't even the full on revelation. It was only "a likeness". When Moses asked the Lord to show him His Glory, the Lord said to Moses, "I will make all my goodness pass before thee and I will proclaim the name of the Lord before the..." (Exodus 33:19) and in Exodus 33:20 the Lord said to Moses, "Thou canst not see my face: for there shall not man see me, and live."

When Ezekiel saw this "vision", on his face he went! What reverence, what fear of God. So often we approach Our Holy and Awesome King with such irreverence. He is a Holy God. Aside from us putting our trust in Jesus Christ and Jesus' righteousness being imputed to us, we could not even make it to the hallway, let alone the Throne Room. Yet, because of Jesus' sacrifice for me and me putting my trust in Jesus, NOW I can come boldly into the Throne Room of grace and find mercy and help in time of need. He wants us to come to Him and ask Him for help in our time of need, however, what He desires most is us coming into fellowship with Him, to spend time with Him. What an intimate God we have! This Holy God, NOW, calls me His friend! Is this not great? Yet, in this familiarity and freedom, let us not forget that He is Holy, Majestic, a Consuming Fire. He tells us, "Be ye holy, for I AM Holy."

Ask the Lord to renew, to revive that sense of Awe and Adoration for this Holy King. Fall on your face before Him and let Him touch you and lift you up. Let Him take you deeper still. There is no need to fear, yes He is Holy and Awesome, yet loves you and me with an everlasting, unconditional love.