Three years ago this month my daughter, Angie, received a letter of acceptance from Mt. Zion School of Ministry. Her journey – this journey – began.
My daughter and I were (and are) really close. In fact, she used to say that she was my shadow. God had prepared me for this separation slowly, yet too fast (in my opinion). The LORD had led us to homeschool her. In January of the year she was to graduate she told me that she felt like the LORD was leading her to Bible College. My heart sank, but by God’s grace I did not discourage her, nor did I say anything negative about it. I simply told her that if that was what God was leading her to do, then we would pray and let Him lead. Inside, however, my mind was racing…”she can’t do ______”; “she will never survive”; “she doesn’t know how to______”, “LORD, this will never happen; this will never work. But, not what I think, but what You have for her. She is in your hands.” Not an easy prayer, but I knew that putting her in His hands (once again) was the best thing I could ever do. My mind said that this was the right thing to do, but my heart…o, my heart…
Well, she went on to go the Calvary Chapel Bible College in Murrieta, California. This was only 45 minutes away from home…but those 45 minutes, at this point of our life, were an eternity. The adjustment was bumpy for all of us. God was faithful and got us all adjusted. We could hop on our car and visit her and there were those weekends that she could actually come home – life was good…we had adjusted well. There was one little “glitch” in the wonderful-adjusting-period. Towards the end of her Bible College experience the LORD was really calling her to be separated only to Him. To be holy devoted and set apart only to Him. He gave her Isaiah 54:5 – “For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.” When Angela told me her Scripture and what God had impressed on her heart, my heart was pierced. I, then, sensed the LORD say to me, “She is my Bride. When a woman gets married she follows her husband wherever He says. Do not get in the way. She is no longer “yours” but My Bride.” O my, what emotions. Can I say my heart ached, yet there was peace. In no way did I even fathom what was ahead of us.
By God’s amazing grace and mercy, she graduated from Bible College only to plummet into an abyss of uncertainty and doubt. What happened? Where was she supposed to go from here? Where did she fit? Some dark times ensued and some very scary moments…I cried out to God; she cried out to God; people around us who loved her prayed for her. I kept remembering what He had spoken to my heart, so I prayed, prayed and prayed. There began to be some breakthrough and she started to venture into looking at some options. She applied here and there – for work, for school, for opportunities, but nothing seemed to open up. She would get discouraged. Anytime she would ask, “Mom, Dad should I apply?” We would say, “We will pray for you to make the right decision.”
When she applied to Mt. Zion School of Ministry, my heart sank. My thought was, “Pennsylvania!” But by God’s grace I did not say anything.
In April of 2008 she received a letter from Mt. Zion School of Ministry. She opened it with shaking hands. She was prepared for another rejection letter. Then she read, “You’ve been accepted…” She sobbed…we sobbed. She was happy, yet scared. I was happy, yet absolutely floored, petrified, scared, numb – God’s previous words to me kept ringing in my ears, so I embraced her and said I was so happy for her. Wow, just remembering that day brings chills to my mind…and here we are three years later. She is taking finals this week and then it will be graduation – April 30th – and then this journey will be over.
God has been faithful, o so faithful! He has provided everything that has been needed. Angela has grown leaps and bounds. Each semester, each year, has been so different, yet so good. She has had to endure much – some of the hardest events that happened while she has been there is that she has lost both grandmothers and her grandfather. Yet, through it all we have seen God shine in and through her and get her through. My mind can’t wrap around the fact that she has been so far away, yet God has sustained her, carried her, protected her, guided her, matured her, given her a heart that loves Him with all her heart, mind and strength – all without me…go figure.
Have I missed her? O, with all my being! Do I long to have her close to me? Absolutely! But only if that is what God has planned. You know, even though she is so far away, when we speak I feel her so close by. Our hearts are entwined, not because I am her Mom and she is my daughter, but because we are madly in love with the same man – Our LORD and Saviour, JESUS CHRIST!!!!
O what will He have for her next?
What will He have for me next?
What are His plans for us?
Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know that thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
1 Corinthians 2:9 – But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him.
