What holds me back?

Sorrow and Suffering revisited. The LORD has brought these two faithful companions to my mind, once again. I searched my previous posts to see when I had written about them, it was April 2008.

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In this time of transition and change, God has been comforting, loving, assuring, and o so gentle. As of late though He is challenging me. He is beckoning me to go, to trust, to live in full abandonment for Him. At times I can say, “Let’s go LORD. Whatever you want, wherever you say.” Then, my flesh takes over and the doubts come in, then there is fear and doubt and apprehension, etc.

The lyrics to the songs I have posted below are some of the songs that, along with His Word have been ministering to me, challenging me. The song, “Sweetly Broken” brought me to my knees. Sweetly and Broken just don’t seem to go together. Yet, even in the breaking God is so gentle. Last night I had an opportunity to hear from a godly man sharing part of his testimony. This man is an older-seasoned-saint. He stood frail and physically tired, but when he opened his mouth and allowed the “word of his testimony” to go forth, it was amazing! The main thing was that God is a sure REFUGE in time of trouble…and trouble will come. He shared about his wife having cancer and him praying and asking the LORD for a miracle. And, guess what, God choose to take his wife and not heal her. Now, did he walk away? Did he turn his back on God? NO!!! He fell on his face and surrendered fully to the only One who could give him REFUGE and strength for the journey ahead. This man has tasted and seen that the LORD is good. Not because his life has been a walk in the park, but because through his trials and tribulations – his sufferings, God has been glorified and he is being conformed into the image of Christ.

Once again, the LORD brought the verse in Romans 8:32 – He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? -- God spared not the best He had – His Son. He delivered Jesus up for us all. Will he not FREELY give us all things? My goodness, what questions. What searching of the heart. What else do we want? What else do we need, to give ourselves over to Him in full abandonment, and say with Esther, “and if I perish, I perish.” What do we fear?

Romans 8:28 – And we KNOW that ALL things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. – the “all things” include sorrow and suffering, but they will work out for good, God says they will. Then in Romans 8:31 it says, What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? -- God now only calls us but equips us for what He calls us to do. What holds us back? What do we fear?

Romans 8:18 – For I reckon that the SUFFERINGS of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

2 Corinthians 1:5 – For as the SUFFERINGS of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.

Philippians 3:10-11 – That I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable unto His death; if by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead.

Colossians 1:24 – Who now rejoice in my SUFFERINGS for you, and fill up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for His body’s sake, which is the church:

Hebrews 2:10 – For it became him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through SUFFERINGS.

1 Peter 4:12-13 – Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s SUFFERINGS; that, when His glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

Can I say with Isaiah, “Here am I, send me”? Can I say, “Where You bid, I will follow”? Can I be “wholly surrendered” to Him? Can I fall on my knees and say, “I’m offering all of me. Jesus you are all this heart is living for” – without fear of apprehension?

Father time is short. You are even at the door. I desire to follow hard after You. May I not go through the motions and look back one day regretting. I do not want to spend my whole life asking, “What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?"