Caregiver's December Fellowship

"Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me. Let them lead me to your holy mountain, to the place where you live. Psalm 43:3NLT

It's not about coming up with ways to serve God - what pleases Him is that you obey Him. He doesn't want a relationship with you based on regulations - rather, He expects its foundation to be love. Though it's easier to follow a set of spiritual rules, that's not what God has called you to. That's why sometimes when you're doing everything "right," God sets you on a darkened path - he's showing you how to rely upon Him completely."

Today we had a wonderful time, once again, at our monthly caregivers get together. The above is partly what Ida shared as our devotional. Yes, God spoke...God moved...we were refreshed. We had a wonderful time of eating, drinking and fellowshipping. Once again, this proves that "isolation" is not what God intended for any one of us, but that we fellowship and carry each others burdens. We missed some of the "regulars", but welcomed a new member. Prayerfully in the coming year we will be able to see more caregivers come and be refreshed by the Lord and each other.

Our Church Christmas Service

This morning as I was cooking I heard this song called "Christmas Shoes". I continued to cook, but I started to choke up. The love for a mother that comes through this song simply caught me off guard. You see, I've heard this song before, but for whatever reason it did something to me today. As I heard the song my mind began to wonder...I looked over at the table and saw my own mother sitting at the table busy working on her puzzle and I busy cooking (my how the roles have changed). I wondered how many people are missing their mom this day...how many moms are wayward, or maybe have already passed away. How many moms are still alive and longing for a relationship with their children, yet life has happened and wounds have been inflicted and so their is a break in the relationship. How many moms long to receive some gift from their children, yet are ignored altogether. How many moms get thoughtful gifts from their children, yet they ignore their gift. How many children long to hug their mommie, yet they can't. How many moms long to hug their children, yet they can't. Some are right next to you, yet the distance between you is so vast. Yet others are so far, far away, yet they feel so near. No I don't think this was the way it was intended to be. Sin has raked havoc upon earth. It continues to deteriorate. YET, Praise be to God that HE WILL MAKE ALL THINGS BEAUTIFUL IN HIS TIME. God touch the wounded, the broken, the discouraged, the down-trodden, that child, that mom...You are the Healer, the Comforter...YOU DO ALL THINGS WELL.

A Father's Love

My husband loves his kids. There is not a thing that he wouldn't do for them. My husband loves his kids unconditionally and grants them so much grace it amazes me. When I am ready to kick or smack, he gently moves and does, no need for words. He works hard and long hours in order to provide for his family. If I don't buy stuff for him, he never gets anything for himself. I remember one Christmas that was really tight and we weren't going to get Christmas presents. Last minute he got a Christmas bonus. Where do you think he spent it ALL? On his kids. In fact, that year he bought our son the best catcher's gear in town - I was amazed. This past Saturday he worked (he seldom works on Saturdays). I could see that he was visibly tired. He got home from work and just sat. I asked him, "why did you work today?" He smiled and said, "to get the stuff for the kids." (kids? their adults!!!...sorry, side note). So the other day we went to the music store and he bought our daughter a piano and it's accessories. You could see he was so joyful. We came home and while our daughter was out, he assembled it for her with such enthusiasm. Sometimes I wonder...I get a glimpse of a "Father's Love". I think, "if an earthly father can love like this, how wide, how long is Our Heavenly Father's Love." Every good and perfect gift comes from above. God's mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness unto us. And yes, Our Heavenly Father, gave the most precious thing He had for you and for me. He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting love. How great is the Father's Love...how wide, how long, how high, how deep? We cannot grasp this immenseness this side of heaven.

Huh?!?! >:O

I think the seaweed is a little tight around my head. I think my circulation is being cut short. My thoughts don't match my action or something like that. Last week I forgot my gloves at church...days passed before I realized I'd lost my gloves. Thankfully someone saw them and I recovered them. Then Angie loses her small Bible. Again (Praise God) she gets it back (o and now she lost her other Bible, but I think she left it in a friend's car). Then the other day I went to KFC (this in and of itself is a testing of my patience. I normally go through the drive thru, you know, so much faster and easier. I've waited up to 45 minutes, if not more, in the drive thru...hey isn't this supposed to be fast-food, quicker, get it on the run kind of place...don't worry I'm okay). Okay, so this is my order: Variety Bucket, with two mashed potatoes, small coleslaw and corn-on-the-cob - easy enough. I waited and waited and waited. Finally our turn at the window. Pay, get my food, off to have dinner. Now home...I start taking out the food and figured I'd gotten more (and I do mean more) than I'd ordered. 5 large mashed potatoes, 5 gravies, 1 large coleslaw and 1 small one too, and of course the chicken...no corn, no biscuits, but tons of potatoes. Went back, they were swamped with people. The lady at the counter was not nice, took the extras and tossed them and fixed my order...NEXT!!! Yesterday I went to get hamburgers...my order: shrimp dinner and 2 hamburger specials. Drove home and what did I get you ask - shrimp dinner and 1 hamburger, 1 french fries and 2 drinks...go figure. I almost collapsed. My husband had told me after the chicken incident to always check my order before leaving the place, I didn't check and once again I was...whatever!!! Mom got her shrimp dinner and my son got his hamburger and I got my drink, hey, I do want to loose wait, huh? Now today I took Mom to get a haircut at Fantastic Sams (we were there last week and waited almost 2 hours before we had to leave without a haircut...rrrr!). Thankfully they took her right in and we were home in no time to give her her bath. All was going smoothly until she asked me for her glasses. "Your glasses, what glasses?" "The ones I gave you to hold at the haircut place." ...rrrrr... I left them on a counter, so I gritted my teeth and off I went to get her glasses. Yes, they, thankfully, were there. Am I on dry land yet? In all this I still know that HE IS STILL FAITHFUL.

In The Belly of The Fish

Jonah 2 - Jonah's prayer from the belly of the fish - surrounded by darkness, hopelessness, doubts, fear, failure, despondency, despair, discouragement - totally overwhelmed by his "circumstances", no apparent way out. And, yes, from a human standpoint/point of view, there was no way out. This was the depth of despair if there ever was one. YET...we see that even though, to a great degree, Jonah was responsible for what was going on, STILL God was in TOTAL CONTROL. Jonah 1:17 says, "...the LORD had prepared a great fish to swallow Jonah..." However, there was a reason, there was a purpose for this pit-experience.

There was so much that God had to break and change in Jonah, that we are told that Jonah was in the belly of the fish 3 days and 3 nights. Only after 3 days and 3 nights did Jonah pray to the Lord his God. Why didn't Jonah pray right away? Was Jonah wallowing? Was he upset about his circumstances wondering, "is this what I get for so many years of service, etc." You can put your own questions and thoughts of your own pit-experience(s). Yet we see when Jonah finally cries out in his despair and brokenness - GOD HEARS. (on a side note: there is a song by Twila Paris that is called "Every Heart That Is Breaking". It says, For the young abandoned husband left alone without a reason, for the pilgrim in the city where there is no home, for the son without a father, for his solitary mother, I have a message, HE SEES YOU, HE KNOWS YOU, HE LOVES YOU, HE LOVES YOU, Every heart that is breaking tonight, is the heart of a child that He holds in His sight and o how He longs to hold in His arms every heart that is breaking tonight, For the precious fallen daughter, for the devastated father, for the prodigal who's dying in a strange new way, for the child who's always hungry, for the patriot with no country, I have a message, HE SEES YOU, HE KNOWS YOU, HE LOVES YOU, JESUS LOVES YOU.)

Okay back to the story...In Chapter 2:4 there is hope in his prayer; 2:7 Jonah becomes resolute to look up; 2:9 Jonah worships (in the midst of despair and darkness, his circumstances haven't changed yet Jonah decides to worship. Jonah didn't wait to worship when he was free, Jonah worshiped while still in the midst of seeming despair. 2 Chronicles 20 talks about a people who in the midst of great danger and fear prayed and praised. In v. 22 it says, "Now when they began to sing and to praise, the Lord set ambushes against the people of (the enemy) and they were defeated." It is Gods battle...He will win! Praise Him in the beauty of Holiness.)

Jonah has come full circle. Whatever God wanted to do through this pit-experience has been accomplished and so we see then that God speaks to the fish and the fish vomits Jonah onto dry land. Yes, I know, it is not a pretty picture, yet Jonah is out in the light once again. On a side note, isn't it interesting that the fish obeys the Lord immediately? Everything is subject to the Hand of God and creation seems to obey more readily than we humans.

What circumstance(s) are you in that is so difficult and hard to understand? Maybe you even put yourself in it. Know that even in the "belly of that fish" (your circumstance) God still SEES, God still CARES, God still HEARS. He is still in control, still on the throne. He DOES ALWAYS work ALL THINGS for the good to those that love Him and are the called according to His purpose.

Keep praying, keep worshiping...you will end on dry land. Praise be to God who alone does great things!!!

("Keep Singing", by Mercy Me - Another rainy day, I can't recall having sunshine on my face, all I feel is pain, All I wanna do is walk out of this place, but when I am stuck, I can't move, when I don't know what I should do, when I wonder if I'll ever make it through, but I gotta keep singing, I gotta keep praising Your name, You're the one that's keeping my heart beating, I gotta keep singing, I gotta keep praising Your name, that's the only way that I'll find healing, can I climb up in Your lap, I don't wanna leave, Jesus sing over me, I gotta keep singing)

The End is Glorious

In my morning reading, I've been reading the book of Revelation. This morning I sat and envisioned this whole scene that is being shown to us through God's Holy Word. It is simply glorious and worth hanging on to this glorious hope.

Revelation 7:10-12, 15-17 - ..."Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!" And all the angels stood around the throne and the elders and the four living creatures, and fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying: "Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom, thanksgiving and honor and power and might, be to our God forever and ever. Amen."...Therefore they are before the throne of God, and serve Him day and night in His temple. And He who sits on the throne will dwell among them. They shall neither hunger anymore nor thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any heat; for the Lamb who is in the midst of the throne will shepherd them and lead them to living fountains of waters. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." (See also, Isaiah 25:8, 40:10; Psalm 23:1-2; Ezekiel 34:23)

I'm also reminded of a song that is called "All Who Are Thirsty" (All who are thirsty, All who are weak, Come to the fountain, Dip your heart in the stream of life, Let the pain and the sorrow, Be washed away, In the waves of His mercy, As deep cries out to deep, Come Lord Jesus Come, Holy Spirit Come). Yes come to the fountain and receive refreshment to your soul. Knowing what is to come, makes today easier to live. Even so come Lord Jesus.

The Maidservant of the Lord

I read this devotional today. You know that I have been really "________" about my circumstances. I am so thankful that God gives us brothers and sisters that help us to see things differently. He is always so faithful to not allow me to WALLOW in one area for too long. Go forward...keep on, keeping on...

From "Our Daily Bread" Devotional:
(Please read the whole Scripture - Luke 1:24-38)
"Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word."

It seems that most of our struggles revolve around wanting something we don't have or having something we don't want. Our deepest longings and our greatest challenges are deeply rooted in trying to see the hand of God in these two facts of life. This is where Luke's account of the birth of Jesus begins. The aging Elizabeth longed for a baby. For the young and engaged Mary, however, pregnancy should have been a disgrace. But when both learned they would have a child, they accepted the news with faith in the God whose timing is perfect and for whom nothing is impossible (Luke 1:24-25, 37-38). As we read the Christmas story, we may be struck by the real-life context of the people whose names have become so familiar. Even while Zechariah and Elizabeth suffered their culture's stigma of childlessness, they were described as "righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord" (v. 6). And the angel told Mary she had found favor with God (v. 30). Their example shows us the value of a trusting heart that accepts the mysterious ways of God and the presence of His mighty hand, no matter how perplexing our circumstances may be. - David McCasland

Though you cannot see the outcome, trust the Lord - He knows what's best; be assured He sees your trial, and He's with you in your test. - Hess

For the Christian, testing cannot be separated from trusting.

So Far to Go

The Lord has been speaking to me to have love and compassion for those who are so hard to love, those who have hurt me and "my better judgment" says, "I will not open myself up to be slapped (not literally) again". That is one of the reasons the poem that my friend shared with me really hit home. In part it says, "...to love like you've never been hurt...". As the Lord continues to mold and shape me (I would like to think that I am maturing) I followed through, by His strength, on something He asked me to do. Sure enough, days after this action what I feared would happen happened. I was already in a discouraged mood and so this just added to the whole "pit" thing. In my mind I'm all saying, "see I told you...I knew this would happen, etc." The Lord didn't let me wallow in this mood for long. On Thursday in my Our Daily Bread Devotion He gives me the Scripture He always give me when I am in this mood - Luke 6:27-36. The whole Scripture speaks loud and clear about this issue(s). But this one part really pricked my heart, "...bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you..." O Lord, you keep showing me this over and over and it simply doesn't stick. Thanks be to God for His long-suffering and patience (more than I have for anyone around me I hate to say). Then towards the end of my reading this words hit me like a ton of bricks, "...HE is kind to the unthankful and evil..." What?!?! O Lord, I have so far to go. So much work for Him to do. Praise be to God that HE started the work and HE will complete it in me. And HE reminds me that HE loved me even when I was a sinner totally not wanting anything to do with HIM. Thank you Jesus for not giving up on me and continuing the work. Create in me a clean heart o God and renew a right spirit within me.

All About JESUS - this is what matters

God's Word is a lamp unto my feet, it is my compass, my comfort, my strength, my wisdom...the only TRUTH, it never changes, it will endure forever, everything else comes and goes and is so fickle...

God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good? - Numbers 23:19

For You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD shall enlighten my darkness. For by You I can run against a troop; by my God I can leap over a wall. As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the LORD is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him. For who is God, except the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God? God is my strength and power, and He makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of deer, and set me on my high places. He teaches my hands to make war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, and Your gentleness has made me great. You enlarged my path under me; so my feet did not slip. - 2 Samuel 22:29-37

Behold I lay in Zion a choice stone, a precious corner stone, and he who believes in Him will not be disappointed. - 1 Peter 2:6

"Only be strong and very courageous...do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:7-9

Enough said...thank you Jesus for you Eternal Word.

All About ME - fickle

Yesterday was a day to remember (I've been having lots of "days to remember" lately). I finally managed to get up and going to work-out. This weather is doing a number on my body and it takes more effort to get going so early. I'm thinking of maybe changing this routine - sorry, I deviated. Anyhow, it was a good start, once I got going. Then I went into my Mom's room to give her her morning meds. Ay Caramba-what happened here!!! There was puzzle pieces all over the place. The board for the puzzle looked like it had been smashed and crushed, etc., etc. Mom was sitting in her chair with a look on her face. I guess she saw the look on my face and said, "I fell down." Okay...what were you doing?! She at times does things thinking she can still do them and of course there are accidents. I'm already thinking, man do I have to sleep in her room now in order to keep an eye on her during the night? Don't worry, she is fine. Morning routine continues...through this out, clean this up, fix this, etc., etc. Then Angie and I are off to her piano lesson (all this and it is only 8:30a.m.). I with my bright mind figured, hey I'll drop Angie off at her lesson (in Rialto) then I will drive to Arrowhead Medical Center (in Colton) to drop off some "samples" at the lab (sounds like a good plan, don't you think?). Okay, I'm off to Colton...I got totally lost (I get lost alot) then all of the sudden I hear this beep out of nowhere. Oh my gas tank is going on empty in the middle of nowhere, at least nowhere I know. I finally see Mt. Vernon...Mt. Vernon!!! isn't this in San Bernardino. So I turn, I can't find a gas station, I'm praying, no gas station, I'm praying...o gas station - thank you Jesus! Yes, I made it to the hospital, to pick up Angie (late), to grocery shopping - forget it! Home to a stinky house cause someone forgot I did not need anymore "samples"...OMG can this get any worse?! I won't go on cause I'm getting a stomach ache just thinking about it...Yes, when it is all about me, as a friend said I AM GIGANTIC and all else is so small and bugs me to no end - God I'm so glad there is another view to this...

Remembering "YOU"

From "Our Daily Bread" - BLUE CHRISTMAS
Isaiah 53:1-6 - Who has believed our report? And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed? For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant, and as a root out of dry ground. He has no form or comeliness; and when we see Him, there is no beauty that we should desire Him. He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely He has borne our griefs an carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten b y God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one, to his own way; and the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.
A growing number of churches are holding annual Blue Christmas services for those faced with grief and loss. The holiday season's emphasis on happiness and good cheer often makes people who are dealing with heartbreak feel even worse. An Associated Press article quoted a pastor who described the Blue Christmas service as "an opportunity for people to come and be in the presence of God and acknowledge their grief and despair and loneliness and give it to God." One participant added, "And it's a good place to have a cry and no one will mind." During the Christmas season, we often read Isaiah's prophecies of the coming Messiah who would be born of a virgin (Isaiah 7:14) and called "Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace" (9:6). But perhaps we should also include the words of Isaiah 53: "He is...a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief...Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows...And by His stripes we are healed" (vv. 3-5). The psalmist reminds us that "[The LORD] heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3). If you're hurting this Christmas, remember: Jesus came to save us, to help us, and to heal us. - David McCasland
Whenever darkness grips your soul and you are tempted to despair, remember Christ's unfailing love, and trust His faithful, tender care. - Sper
Jesus provides an oasis of grace in the desert of grief.

My heart for a while has had this sadness within. I can't really tell you what all it entails, but one thing is simply remembering those loved ones that are no longer with us. There is so many other things that come to my mind, but the Lord put in my heart to do this in remembrance of those whom I love and miss. They were part of my life and I cannot simply go on without thinking and remembering them with a longing in my heart.

Christmas Dinner

Here we are at our church Christmas Dinner. Everyone seemed to have a great time. My sister-in-law and her three daughters were able to make it. Even Alaiza made it to the dinner. It's feeling more and more like Christmas.

New Addition to the Family

Alaiza Jay was born on December 1, 2007 to my niece, Maribel and her husband Hector. Congratulations!!!

Christmas 2007

For three days my home/living room has been a complete mess. My precious daughter absolutely loves Christmas and all its decorations. I have not been feeling good and have totally put decorating off indefinitely. She finally gave up on me and took the task upon herself. I can tell you that being how I am (I like to start a task and finish it the same day even if it knocks me down for several days) this was driving me crazy. Yet, to see my daughters joy and excitement is priceless. I managed to stay away from the mess and fixing it myself - I have a tendency of doing this. She was such a trooper, being that I have been in an incredibly ho-hum-bug mood. So here are the pictures to show her handy-work. Thank you baby-girl for all your hard work. It wouldn't be Christmas in my house without you. When the Lord gives you your family, you are going to be a great Mommie. I love you!!!

Annie at her Christmas Program on Tuesday. She did so well - good job Annie!

A Day of Celebration

Yesterday was a day filled with activity - good activity. My hubby surprised me and took the day off-work for our anniversary. My daughter, Angie, agreed to stay with Mom and do lunch for her (thank you Angie for this break:)). Morning was hectic, and to be honest with you, I almost called our outing off. Simply too much "preparation" just to get out. Thankfully, the Lord helped me to put all "feelings" aside and my hubby and I managed to get out - yeah!!! We drove around and enjoyed each others company. Then we ended up at Victoria Gardens. We walked around hand-in-hand. It was so nice to slowly-walk by the hand of my love, not really doing anything and emptying my mind of "everything". We sat and had lunch together. At times we sat in silence, simply enjoying each others company. We walked some more and ended up at Jamba-Juice. My hubby chatted this time - this was nice. We drove home and got busy making ceviche (my sons favorite dish).

At night we enjoyed the company of my nephews Jose R. and Jose B. and their precious families. Jaime's girlfriend, Sandra, joined us and brought along a delicious ice-cream cake...isn't pretty! (Thank you Sandra! We enjoyed having you over.) Everyone enjoyed themselves. I truly enjoyed seeing everyone enjoy the food and company. I wonder if this is the way my Mom and Sister felt after they'd prepare an incredible-tasty meal for the family? It is so neat to see those you love gather around the table and enjoy...I bet Mom misses this - wow, these thoughts...

Thank you Jesus for the simple things in life that bring joy to our hearts and make beautiful memories.

Happy 23rd Birthday Son!

Twenty-three years ago our first child was born. By this time we had two babies in heaven and we tried not to get excited - AGAIN - cause we didn't know what would happen with this pregnancy. A tough pregnancy to say the least...I lost 40 pounds and was very weak. Lots of bed-rest because I was prone to miscarriages. My sister, bless her heart, took really good care of me. On December 2 my hubby and I wanted to go out to dinner...my water broke - I didn't know what this was. I called my sister (my bedside-doctor) and she said, "do you have contractions? do you feel okay", "yes" "yes"...so we went to dinner. Thanks goodness it was dark in that place cause I made a mess (I'll leave it to your imagination). We came home and for the first time since I got pregnant I felt good and had absolutely no pain. I actually slept all night. December 3rd I had my doctor's appointment at 8:00 a.m., I picked up my sister and off we went to the doctors. When the doctor checked me, I had no am bionic fluid and the baby's heart beat was very low. The doctor sent me straight to the hospital. Lots of emotions and very scary. The baby's heart beat was getting less and less. I was induced and here was my baby boy!!! A premie weighing 7lbs. 5oz. I know...the doctor said that if the baby was full term, he would have been a very big baby...I'd say!!! Zoom forward 23 years later...my son is a very handsome, smart man. He is 6'1" and probably 220lbs. It amazes me to remember how he came into this world and to remember all that he has gone through, yet I know God has an incredible plan for him. My hubby and I love him to pieces and treasure the times that we get to spend with him.

24th Anniversary

Twenty-four years ago my hubby and I had to get married. We had gotten pregnate and so my parents made us get married (btw the baby went to heaven before we got married, but we had to go through with it). Neither one of us were ready for this mayor-commitment in our lives. And so we made many, many mistakes. By God's grace, He reached down and redeemed each one of us individually and then turned a broken marriage into an incredible love-affair. I've heard people say that God repairs and renews - and He does. But for us He had to make the foundation, then He had to build from nothing. All I can say is "thanks be to God for His incredible grace and mercy". We married in 1983 and the Lord made us new in 1993. So today I celebrate with my precious husband 24 years of incredible growth and challenges. Today I can tell you that I love my husband with all my heart and enjoy spending time with him. He is so caring and considerate. Thank you Jesus for your miracle work in our lives.

Newsflash!

Yes, my friends, it is official - drum roll please...I am totally irrevocably crazy en la cabeza (in the head). After many tests, proddings and appointments (my own appointments this time)...drum roll please...the tests show "NOTHING-NOTHING-NOTHING". Don't get me wrong, I am thankful, but when you physically feel the way I do, you would expect something. But no, to no surprise of mine, it all came back fine. Go home, Leticia, and live a wonderful life!!!

Discouragement...

This morning it is dark and cloudy outside. In fact, right now it's raining. As I sit in my very warm and cozy home I can't help but feel this awful dark cloud over me. Yes, I love the Lord. Yes, I am an extremely blessed person, yet this "feeling". I thought, "to be like Enoch. To take a long walk and then be no-more." Job felt discouraged and thought, "why was I even born". Elijah thought, "okay I'm done, take me to heaven". (I'm paraphrasing you know.) And of course, the Lord reminds me of that Scripture that says, "why are you downcast, o my soul, hope in God." It's all in my-big-head...yet, the "feelings". Can I just go to sleep...can it all be done...

The Lord is so awesome...He hears even my faintest sigh...

Daniel 9:23 "...you are greatly beloved..."

Daniel 10:11 "...O Daniel, man greatly beloved..."

Daniel 10:17-19 "...As for me, no strength remains in me now, nor is any breath left in me." Then again, the one having the likeness of a man TOUCHED ME AND STRENGTHENED ME." And he said, "O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes, be strong!" So when he spoke to me I was strengthened, and said, "Let my Lord speak, for you have strengthened me."

So, yes, He will strengthen me...He will uphold me with His righteous right hand. To be in His presence is much better, but to remain is needful. I walk this walk and sometimes I barely crawl. Thanks be to God who alone is worthy, who alone strengthens these feeble hands to do His work. And yes, I still believe that the SON still shines behind all these dark-ominous-clouds.

Sunday at Church

Glory To God

Blessed be the LORD God, the God of Israel, WHO ONLY DOES WONDROUS THINGS! (Psalm 72:18). Allow me to boast in the LORD...in June of 1993 I asked the Lord Jesus Christ into my heart. He became my Lord, my Savior, my King. Back then all I knew is that I was once blind and now I saw; I was once lost and now I was found. All I could do was to bow before this King who chose me, who called me by name and who took a piece of trash and gave it (me) meaning and purpose. This King who redeemed me by His precious blood and who imputed to me His righteousness and clothed me with beautiful white garments and made me white as snow hasn't stopped there. This was more than enough for me. If I would have gone to heaven then, it would have been enough. Yet He has done and will continue to do many, many more "wondrous things".

Let us fast forward to today and wow!!! Today I sat in church (spanish church at that, a story in itself). I sat there and once again meditated in how great My God is. Truly what is impossible with men with God isn't, for there is nothing impossible for the Lord. One of my nephews led worship, his wife sang, my daughter played the keyboard in the worship team, another nephew taught us the Word of God from the pulpit, in the pews sat one of my nieces with her entire family, another niece and her boyfriend, my brother and his wife sat at another place, my hubby is serving...I could keep going on and on and on. In Psalm 27:13 it says, "I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." I for one have SEEN "the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." And since I know that My Jesus is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, I know that his wondrous works don't end here. He is going to continue to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond all I could ask and pray. Praise be to God who alone does wondrous things!!!

Thanksgiving 2007

Thanksgiving Day was here and gone. Shopping, cooking, dishes (where do all the dishes come from???), etc., all a thing of the past. I thank the Lord for all that He did and He continues to do. He continues to mold and shape me. He continues to show me that I am to teach and share the things that He has taught and shared with me through others. So once again we gathered together at my nieces and nephews home. We chopped and peeled and stirred. Once again everyone was very happy with the results. This year the Lord added to our family. The Sanchez Family and Luis, all brothers and sisters from our church. I believe we all had a good time. My nephew, Jose, shared from God's Word and some shared from their heart. Soooooo, Thanksgiving 2007 is but a memory. At the end we all just sat there, we couldn't move because we all ate too much.

Happy Thanksgiving - Enjoy!

"My Utmost For His Highest - ...To be shallow is not a sign of being sinful, nor is shallowness an indication that there is no depth to your life at all - the ocean has a shore. Even the shallow things of life, such as eating and drinking, walking and talking, are ordained by God. These are all things our Lord did. He did them as the Son of God, and He said, "A disciple is not above his teacher..." (Matthew 10:24)"

On this Thanksgiving Day when, it seems, all we do is eat, the Lord had to remind me to "enjoy the eating and drinking". Don't be so serious and uptight. Don't want everything perfect (according to Leti). Relax...Enjoy...Laugh! Today is what we have and we should enjoy it. So many changes have occurred in my life and the life of my family that we need to take each opportunity to enjoy each other.

He will yet fill your mouth with laughing, and your lips with rejoicing. Job 8:21

Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing. Then they said among the nations, "The Lord has done great things for them." The Lord has done great things for us, whereof we are glad. Psalm 126:2-3

So let us rejoice for truly the Lord has done great things!!!

God is Able

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 -- Try as we might, we cannot change another person's heart. Only God can. God alone is our hope, our very present hope in the time of need and trouble. When will we learn to simply do what God says: to pray and not faint, to persist and not quit, to wait upon Him until He brings it to pass? --- Kay Arthur

Yes, when will I learn to trust? A trust that is unchanging, unshakable regardless of what comes my way. God is so faithful and is always giving me His Unchanging Word to stabilize me. And so often He simply reminds me of what He has already told me, as if to say, "remember I already gave you a promise about this. Don't fear, it's all going to work out for good." He gently calms me and embraces me and fills my heart with hope...hope that doesn't disappoint. I'm like the disciples when Jesus said to them, "Let us cross over to the other side." While on their way a "great windstorm arose". And of course the disciples accused Jesus, "...do You not care that we are perishing?" So often, Jesus gives us His Word/Promise, but on our way we are hit by a storm/onslaught/bumps and we start doubting, wondering, questioning. Does the Lord understand? How much longer? It's getting worse!, etc. Yet, Jesus has never moved. He hasn't changed. He is still on the throne. In this same story Jesus tells the disciples (after calming the storm), "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?"

O God I believe, help my unbelief!!! "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26)" So may I "pray and not faint, persist and not quit, wait upon Him until He brings it to pass".

Hope That Doesn't Dissapoint

I read the following on my Kay Arthur Desk Devotional:

"THE SON SETS YOU FREE. (So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36) For years Jack and I cried out to God for our oldest son, Tom. I did all I could to turn him around. Finally in 1991 God said, "Be still, Kay, and know that I am God." I was now to be quiet - no more talking, persuading, pleading, debating. To be still means to cease striving. What intimacy this brings - what utter dependence. Then, in 1992, God did what only God can do - He set our 37-year-old son free. And my, how he loves out Lord and His Word!"

And so as my heart aches, the Lord gives me exactly what I needed to hear. And the Lord fills my heart with hope, once again. As I walk this road, I am so thankful for men and women that have used their pen to share with others their hurts, pains, struggles and yes, their victories. The Word of God is full of such men and women. And there are many a devotional/book that have such encouragement. I am thankful for I know that I am not the first to walk this difficult road, and saddened to say that I won't be the last. But once again, the Spirit of the Living God, reminds me that ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD, TO THOSE THAT LOVE GOD AND THAT ARE THE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE. Lord Jesus lift up my crushed and weary soul...I love you!!!

Caregivers Gathering

We had our monthly "Caregivers" get together. We laughed, we cried, we shared. The Lord knows how we all needed this time away from the routine. The Lord tells us not to forsake the gathering together of the brethren, because He knows how much we all need it and benefit from it. So often we isolate ourselves and give room for our thoughts to run rampant and the enemy to bring havoc into our lives. As we gather together, we find that there truly is nothing new under the sun. The same woes that another is going through are so similar to those that I am going through. The encouragement that comes from these gatherings is PRICELESS. And what is more important than all this is that we get the Word of God, which is the only thing that will get us through whatever comes next.

Candy Bouquet Workshop

On Saturday my daughter, Angie, and I were invited by our good friend, Pat, to a Candy Bouquet Making Workshop. It was interesting and at times stressful. As some of you know, I don't have a "creative bone" in my body. But my friend, Pat, insists on challenging me. We won't even go into detail about the "CLAY"...I get the chills just thinking of this. But all kidding aside, it was a fun time to get together with friends. Life simply gets too busy and this was an opportunity to see those whom we love.

El Shaddai

I watched this video on a friends blog. It so filled my heart with a sense of awe and majesty. To think that the God of the Universe called me by name and has given me the privilege of calling Him "Abba" (Daddy). As I pondered upon this Majestic God that I serve, all I could say is "You are beyond my comprehension and my grasp". Then today when I read "Our Daily Bread", I couldn't help but be in even more wonderment. The Scripture reference is Psalm 8. In verse 3 it says, "When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have ordained, what is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You visit him?" Yes, when we consider all the greatness of it all, what are we? Then on the devotional part it said, "In a commencement address to graduating class of Miami University, columnist George Will gave some statistics that help to diminish our sense of self-importance. He pointed out that 'the sun around which Earth orbits is one of perhaps 400 billion stars in the Milky Way, which is a piddling galaxy next door to nothing much.' He added, 'there are perhaps 40 billion galaxies in the still-unfolding universe. If all the stars in the universe were only the size of the head of a pin, they still would fill Miami's Orange Bowl to overflowing more than 3 billion times.' There is a plus side to all that overwhelming data. The God who created and sustains our star-studded cosmos in its incomprehensible vastness loves us. And He doesn't just love the human race as an entity of multiplied billions. He loves us individually. What Paul exclaims to be true about himself is true about each of us in all our insignificance: Christ 'loved me and gave Himself for me' (Gal. 2:20)" When I read this I thought, "this is what I felt when I saw that video." The Lord looks down from heaven and sees ME. Love ME and desires to have fellowship with ME. How good is that! But wait there's more. (I love it when God, by His Holy Spirit, does this. He shows me something then He confirms it or reaffirms it with His word. Then He uses the writings of other saints to bring the point home or to clarify it or to confirm it...I love this about Him.) I read My Utmost and guess what Scripture reference it cited? Galatians 2:20! I love it! There was some sobering thoughts in this devo though (this devotional always exhorts and convicts). It said, "We should battle through our moods, feelings, and emotions into absolute devotion to the Lord Jesus." You know these awful feelings and emotions that just keep us down or get us discouraged. We need to diffuse them by the Word of God. Now think about this, "HE can present us faultless before the throne of God, inexpressibly pure, absolutely righteous, and profoundly justified. Stand in absolute adoring faith in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God - and righteousness and sanctification and redemption...(1 Cor. 1:30). How dare we talk of making a sacrifice for the Son of God! We are saved from Hell and total destruction, and then we talk about making sacrifices!" I told you this devotion totally convicts. Again, imagine the Creator of the Universe reaching down from heaven and desiring fellowship with us. Yes, we should bow in adoration for such grace and mercy showed us by this Holy God. And this devo ends with this, "Our lives should be an absolute hymn of praise resulting from perfect, irrepressible, triumphant belief." Doesn't this last sentence just make you want to grab our weapons (which I might add, are mighty in Christ Jesus) and set the captives free. So yes, Dear Sisters, we are in an incredible war, but let's look at what side we are on and who is our Commander-in-Chief...God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth. He is still on the throne, unwavering, not ruffled by the changing tide and TOTALLY IN CONTROL! Hallelujah! Praise You Jesus!

Exceedingly Abundantly

Ephesians 4:20-21 - "Now to HIM who is ABLE to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to HIM be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

This Scripture is so special to me in so many areas of my life. However, when it comes to my daughter, Angie, it says volumes more. My baby girl (who is now 21) was born premature. I won't go into all the details of all her ailments and developments, both physical and mental. All I will say is that when she was little the "specialists" would prepare us about how she would never be a "normal" person. Sometime ago the Lord put this thought in my mind about my baby girl, "Angie's weaknesses will be her strengths. For in her weakness, I WILL BE STRONG." I have clung on to this thought as well as numerous Scriptures that the Lord has given me regarding my daughter. And so this Sunday as she played with the worship team (she plays the keyboard), well what can I say. To see her up there worshipping the Lord with her gifts, gifts that HE has bestowed upon her in spite of it all. What a privilege that is for a Mom and a Dad. But as Angie would say, "not to me, but to HIS Name be the glory." And I can tell you that she truly KNOWS this. God doesn't see how we see. His thoughts are not ours. Nor His ways ours. Truly Lord you are worthy of all praise and honor. And to you my beautiful daughter, "We are so proud of you for hanging in there. We love you! Always keep your eyes on JESUS!"

Do We Speak The Same Language?

Okay, so what part of "don't cut any part of your body" is not clear enough??? Yesterday I came home to Mom holding/pressing one of her fingers with a wad of paper towels. She smiled and said, "I cut the ball of skin that was bothering me." She had been bugging me, asking me to cut it, but I refused (call me crazy or something). This is not the first time she has done that. Once before she cut, yes she cut, with scissors, as she did this time, a ball that had formed on her tongue. Yes, my friend you can cringe. I on the other hand I had to stop the bleeding, you see Mom takes blood thinners! So after giving her a sermon and biting down so hard I could feel my ears pop, I made things okay. Dinner had already been really...I'll let you guess, so now to top things off this...uh, does it ever end???

This morning I decorated some more to adjust to this new adventure in our life. I already have the hand-rail and the hand-shower, but now I added the pretty sticker decor to the bottom of the bath-tub. The mats I have used just don't seem to do the job and so today we opted for a new decor on the bath-tub. As I was putting them on, trying to make them look cute, Mom comes into the bathroom with her normal, "I got to go." I said (as I am on my knees, blocking the toilet bowl), "go to my bathroom." She is still standing there trying to figure out what I am doing, still making noises. "Mom go to my bathroom." Still standing there...I now turn around and say, "Go to the bathroom or you are going to pee-yourself". "O yeah." Then she comes back and finally figures out what I am doing as she tells me, "I almost died in there." Don't worry, she was and is okay. I just shook my head and chuckled to myself. I also thought, "how much has changed around here. And how much will it still change?" You know when we are bringing a baby home we prepare for that baby accordingly. This I guess is similar. So many similarities...what will be next???

Thought Provoking Poem

"THE MOST BEAUTIFUL RAINBOW"
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

A friend of mine e-mailed me the above poem. It so touched my heart. I read it after our family reunion and the Lord totally ministered to me. HE showed me that HE enabled me to "laugh too much", "take pictures", and "love like you've never been hurt" - wow! To love like Jesus loved. To live today as if tomorrow would never be. Lord teach me to number my days that I may gain a heart of wisdom.

"The Becerra Family Reunion"

My Uncle Eugenio just recently had a heart attack. He is my Dad's brother. He is in his 80's. He loves parties. After his heart attack, he decided, to have a party. He told his daughter, "It is time to get the Becerra Family together" (let me tell you that is quite an endeavor, given all the strife in the entire family). Yesterday was "The Becerra Family Reunion". I hadn't seen my aunts and uncles in years (lots of years). Some of my cousins I have never met, and those that I had met, I hardly remember. It was nice to see faces that I knew and faces that I'd never met. The Lord gave me the opportunity to talk to each one of my uncles and aunt individually. (Thank you Jesus, may you bring fruit from this time.) I also got a chance to speak with one of my cousins, who now cares, for my uncle. She shared somethings about her care giving her Dad that made me think, "how incredibly similar" all the care giving experiences are. There truly is nothing new under the sun. The Lord gave me the opportunity to encourage her and hug her. Truly nothing we go through is in vane. Mom, of course, used her tongue to leave a few wounds. (Lord, may we use our tongue wisely.) Our tongue can build or tear...may we always use it to build up those around us, especially if we haven't seen them in a while. I must say that I had a good time seeing those loved ones who were part of my Dad. I got to see pictures of my Dad when he was young and to hear him spoken of in a wonderful manner. There might be another time of getting the family together since not everyone was able to make it in such short notice. I actually look forward to this happening.

A Broken World

Yesterday was my brother Carlos' (we call him Charly) 46th birthday. My heart felt heavy and wished I could pick-up the phone and have a chat with him. I must admit, I don't think about him much. He lives in Mexico (long-story...). I probably haven't chatted with him (a descent form of conversation) since 2002. I remember when we were still a "whole" family. Those were the days. Sin destroys. The memories are there, but I miss "him" so. And you know what, I am no different. If it wasn't for Jesus in my life, I don't know where I would be (I can give you a couple guesses, though). Just the other day my son reminded me of things that he remembers...let me tell you, I wish I could erase "those memories" from his mind. So this day I wish my brother a happy birthday. I trust one day God will make him whole again. For there is nothing impossible with God...just look at me.

A Welcomed Break

My daughter and I actually got a chance to go see a MOVIE. Aside from charging an arm and a leg for this past time and the goodies, it was a really nice break in all this turmoil. Saturday afternoon I decided - ENOUGH! So Angie and I drove off and sat and laughed. I hadn't been to a movie in ages. We went to see The Bee Movie. I laughed so hard and forgot all that would await me outside that theater. Thank you Jesus for a welcomed break!

Sorely Misunderstood

Chronic illnesses - wow! Please entertain me as I take a walk through memory lane...back in 2002 I ended up in a fetal position not being able to move or talk or nothing. My good friend, Susie, drove me to the Doctor where both he and she looked at me with great concern and amazement. He (my doctor) I must say was God sent as was my faithful companion-friend. He put me through tests and specialists from A through Z. The conclusion..."Fibromyalgia", fibe-what??? I had never heard of this term nor its implications. Because God has made me the way I am, I read and educated myself in this "new", at least to me, term/disease. I won't bore you with the rest of the details, we could be here forever. Let's us come back to the here and now. This past week I haven't been feeling too spiffy, but then again what's new. I'm going about my week getting progressively worse. I do all the things I am used to doing to calm or soothe my ailments, but I am still getting worse. By Thursday, I can't hardly swallow, my chest feels like I have an elephant on top of it and my breathing is getting really difficult. In addition to all this I am getting progressively weaker. But the trooper that I am...I keep going with ALL my duties. By this time my hubby is "TELLING" me to get in to see the doctor. I had/have already made my mind the no-more-doctor-appointments-for-me. In fact, not to long ago I told one of my friends that I would not be going in to see the doctor unless I passed-out and had to be taken by an ambulance. Well, yesterday, was such a day, minus the ambulance. My hubby drove me to the doctor (which I already had an appointment, do to the encouraging of loved ones around me). I was sweating, my tongue was going numb and rolling, my face was tingly as if falling asleep, my left arm was limp and I was slowly going under. We are at the doctors...ekg, proving, checking, etc. The nurse-practitioner was absolutely belittling. I was made to feel like a hypochondriac - cause of course "NOTHING", DID I SAY NOTHING...showed up on the tests. Gave me some antacids (which I have been taking at home already) sent me to get bloodwork and x-ray of my chest (which I know will show NOTHING) and home I go to my daughter go is mad cause she is bored to death and Mom is playing sick (sorry I deviated there for a while). But you know what this triggered in my mind? I remembered my sister. My sister has already passed away, but I remember when she was alive, she never really felt good. I used to think, "are you sick again?" "now what is wrong?" (yeah, same attitudes I get now). In fact, the "regular" doctors sent her to a psychiatrist/psychologist cause "they" couldn't figure her out. The psychiatrist/psychologist put her on anti-depressants cause they couldn't figure out. In fact, they would tell her that she needed to get a job to get her mind busy. If anyone, was a hard worker, it was my sister. Maybe not on a "official" job site, but she worked a whole lot at home. She took care of all of us...and that my friend was a full-time joy with lots of overtime. She worked 24/7. I'm saddened at the fact that my sister did not have what the Lord has allowed me, in His grace and mercy, to have. I have this intimate-personal-relationship with My Jesus, who comforts me and reassures me that "it is not all in my head", "I am not crazy", "I am not making it up". O God, that my sister would have had this. Yet I know that He was and is the same yesterday, today and forever. He was and is from the beginning. And He was there for my sis. He is not a mean God, but a God of mercy and grace. He is and was gentle and loving. When I don't understand, I will trust in YOU. When nothing makes sense, I will trust in YOU. He will make ALL things beautiful in His time. O the depths of the riches, both of the power and wisdom of God, how unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out. For who has known the mind of the Lord, and who has become His counselor? Who has first given to Him, it shall be repaid to him.

May You o God gives us understanding, gives us compassion, give us sensibility. I don't need to understand...more of YOU and less of me. YOU will increase, I will decrease. In my weakness, YOU are strong.

Just for Fun!

Ezekiel 1

Ezekiel 1:28 - ...the APPEARANCE of the LIKENESS of the glory of the Lord. And when I saw IT, I feel upon my face, and I heard a voice of one that speaks.

What caused Ezekiel to fall upon his face? Not the grand colors, the fire, the living creatures or all the beauty and spectacle of the whole vision. What caused Ezekiel to fall upon his face was "the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord." It wasn't even the full on revelation. It was only "a likeness". When Moses asked the Lord to show him His Glory, the Lord said to Moses, "I will make all my goodness pass before thee and I will proclaim the name of the Lord before the..." (Exodus 33:19) and in Exodus 33:20 the Lord said to Moses, "Thou canst not see my face: for there shall not man see me, and live."

When Ezekiel saw this "vision", on his face he went! What reverence, what fear of God. So often we approach Our Holy and Awesome King with such irreverence. He is a Holy God. Aside from us putting our trust in Jesus Christ and Jesus' righteousness being imputed to us, we could not even make it to the hallway, let alone the Throne Room. Yet, because of Jesus' sacrifice for me and me putting my trust in Jesus, NOW I can come boldly into the Throne Room of grace and find mercy and help in time of need. He wants us to come to Him and ask Him for help in our time of need, however, what He desires most is us coming into fellowship with Him, to spend time with Him. What an intimate God we have! This Holy God, NOW, calls me His friend! Is this not great? Yet, in this familiarity and freedom, let us not forget that He is Holy, Majestic, a Consuming Fire. He tells us, "Be ye holy, for I AM Holy."

Ask the Lord to renew, to revive that sense of Awe and Adoration for this Holy King. Fall on your face before Him and let Him touch you and lift you up. Let Him take you deeper still. There is no need to fear, yes He is Holy and Awesome, yet loves you and me with an everlasting, unconditional love.

Deceptive Feelings

Have you ever had those times when you "feel" as if you are doing nothing right? As if everything you have ever done has been of no consequense. That even those things you are doing are so half-hearted that you figure it will produce absolutely no good fruit? You continue to pray and seek God's face, because without this you crumble, but you wonder, "is it making a difference in the lives of those around you?" Well, let me tell you, don't go by feelings. Our feelings come and go. Our feelings can be so deceptive.

The Lord knows me so well that I guess He figured (He knew) I needed encouragement. He has been encouraging me through precious people whom I love. Comments have been made that have obsolutely touched my heart and made me realize that nothing I do for My Jesus is ever in vain - inspite of my feelings. Proverbs 15:23(b) says, "a word spoken in due season, how good it is!" And Proverbs 25:11 says, "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Our Words can tear and build. How beautiful when our words build and encourage.

So often when we are hurting or discouraged we isolate ourselves and have ourselves a grand pity-party. The enemy of our souls loves this, because then he has us all to himself. He can tear us up and make us miserable. When we isolate ourselves all we hear is our flesh and the enemy telling us how good for nothing we are and how nothing we've done matters. Proverbs 18:1 says, "A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment." Isolation is devastating. God wants us to fellowship and invest in people who will encourage us or exhort us when need be. By ourselves we are left to our own whim. I love the scripture in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 that says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up."

As of late I've experienced this "lifting up his companion". People around me have encouraged me and have blessed me. So don't isolate yourself, let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. HE is the one doing the work and HE is the one who is going to complete it. HIS word is the one that goes forth from HIS mouth; it shall not return to HIM void, but it shall accomplish what HE pleases, and it shall prosper in the thing for which HE sent it. HE who calls you is faithful who also will do it.

Abide in HIM and don't trust in your feelings. Trust HIM and HIS word to us. God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good? TRUST HIM...HE IS FAITHFUL, we are not.

Congratulations Son!

On Saturday my son took a written test for the Sheriffs Department. HE PASSED the written test, so he went on to the oral interview, which he also did well in. On November 5th he is scheduled for a background interview. My husband and I are so proud of this courageous step our son is taking. Don't ever give up Son!!! I ask that you keep him and this step in prayer that God's will be done.

Women's Conference

The Lord gave me the opportunity to attend the first Inland Empire Women's Conference. My wonderful husband agreed to stay and watch Mom AND to take care of her breakfast and lunch. I am such a fortunate woman. Thank you Lord, bless my husband. I was so excited and expectant to hear what the Lord had for me and all those who were to attend. Calvary Chapel Chino Valley was buzzing with excitement and anticipation. I got to see allot of ladies that I'd met while we attended this fellowship and I also saw ladies from Calvary Chapel Rancho Cucamonga. It was so exciting to see all the smiling faces and how much we ladies love to talk with each other.

The first speaker was Sandy Macintosh, she challenged me to "invite suffering in my life". It took a while for me to swallow this one. I thought, "more suffering, you got to be kidding." She encouraged me not to settle for less than what the Lord has for me. The second speaker was Carrie McDonnall. Talk about inviting suffering into your life. She is a missionary to Iraq. She is 30 years old and has suffered and endured more than I can fathom. She totally encouraged us to live for Christ. She had so much to say that I can't do it justice, but I can tell you she totally challenged me to look beyond the here and now. Jean McClure was very practical and encouraged us to keep a devotional life. The last speaker was June Hesterley. She too was very practical and brought all the earlier points all into focus. She encouraged us to go deeper. One thing she said was, "God breaks a person not to let good out, but to let good in".

So as the Lord gave me this opportunity to attend such an incredible event, my prayer is that it is not just another event with lots of notes on paper. That I would take to heart all that the Lord spoke to me personally and that I would be encouraged in those areas that He encouraged me in. Thank you Jesus for these women. May we be women that impact others for YOU.

100 Workouts!

Okay, so I am totally excited about getting my first Curves T-shirt - 100 workouts! God has been so gracious to allow us to have the budget for this. When I first started I thought, "okay, here we go." I can tell you that I didn't think I would keep at it. Somedays, it takes more than encouragement and desire. God has given me the ability to use this as a means to keep me flexible and mobile. When I first began my journey with fibromyalgia, "exercise" would have been a four-letter-word...no way, no how. Bend how? Pull where? Do what? And so to be at this stage, I can't help but rejoice in My Jesus who has given me this avenue to keep myself mobile in order to do those things that He calls me to do. Thank you Jesus!

Let's Go Shopping

Yesterday, Bek and I went shopping. It was her 3rd birthday on Tuesday and this day was our day to go shopping together for her birthday gift. We went to, now, my favorite store K-mart. Bek wanted to ride on the purple car, but we opted out for the Van since the purple car had no gas. Bek is now in her car seat teaching Auntie Leti how to properly buckle her in...okay, we managed and off we go. We had a nice conversation on our way there. We are here and in we walked with a skip on our step. We picked out a cart and off we went on our fun-filled adventure. Auntie Leti got a little distracted by the nice clothes, but was reminded of our goal in this shopping trip - TOYS! Once on track, off we go to the toy department. As you can see from the pictures Bek had a ball going from one thing to another...until she saw what she wanted, picked it up and her face lit up and said, "I want this one!" and into the basket it went (a toy train). She also picked a "princess" set. We lined them all so that she could pick the one she wanted. She picked Cinderella and herself, put the rest away. Okay, we are done. I had to pick up some things (I always do when I am at K-mart). She walked besides me and at times helped pushing the cart. We ran into a huge spider...she was quite taken by it and a really ugly cat. Then she saw a cute cat and went to hug it and pull it's ears. We walked some more. She giggled and chuckled all through our trip. My heart filled with wonder as I saw how happy she was. We are finally at the checking stand and she saw "lollipops!" "I want a lollipop" she said. "Okay, what color?" "Pink". I told the lady at the check-stand that we were there for Bek's Birthday and so the lady asked Bek how old she was and Bek put out her 3 fingers with a smile. Of course, the lady was taken by this cutie. We got home and guess what was her favorite part of the trip...the lollipop. Laura opened it up for her and she thoroughly enjoyed it.

I would have never thought of doing this...Laura, thank you for suggesting it. This was so much fun to see things from a child's perspective. Not rushing, not being concerned about what she did or did not do, but simply enjoying her JOY.

Contentment

This morning as I awoke and went about my daily morning routine, it was business as usual. Move, stretch, ouch, I can't, just do it, etc...As I was taking my morning shower a thought hit me, "I'm taking a shower, in my own shower, with hot water. I will go out and have a clean towel, then I will go choose what clothes to wear from a closet full of clean clothes..." Why these thoughts you wonder? Well, you see, as of late the Lord has been speaking to me that "godliness with contentment is great gain." My girlfriend and I were talking about this the other day and we agreed that in the grand scope of things we are pretty content with our lot in life. And yes, there are those times that I can get on the bandwagon and start to find kinks in everything and everyone that surrounds me. However, the reason these thoughts were so overpowering this morning is due to the enormous damage that the fires have caused. I thought about those people that have been evacuated and are in shelters, or someplace else, not knowing what they will find when they return home or if there will even be a home to return to. And those that have the fires coming their way. How your life and circumstances can change in an instant without any warning. So today I will choose to be thankful. Thankful for my family, my home and all that surrounds me. Thankful that even when I think that life isn't fair, God tells me in His word that ALL things will work for good to those that love God and that are the called according to His purpose. Lord, thank you for your grace, thank you for your mercy. Forgive me when I am ungrateful. Give me a grateful heart. Be with all the people affected by the fires. And give the firefighters strength to endure and protection in the midst of the fires. In Jesus Name-Amen