Beautiful Flowers

I wanted to show off my front yard flowers...I absolutely love the "COLOR"!

I had been wanted to plant these for a while. My hubby planted them last year and this year we are enjoying the incredible color as we walk into our house, as I sit in my living room watching them out the window...I absolutely love them! Isn't God's creation beautiful?!

Catching Up

A few weeks ago I decided to finally look into some new ailments that had been assailing my body (I guess I didn’t have enough excitement going on that I decided to go look for some on my own). I had a tooth that had been bothering me for some months now, which now was causing severe pain and discomfort. Then I had a situation going on with the back of my throat, not a new thing, but now it had become really bad to the point that the back of my throat was bleeding and extremely uncomfortable and painful.

Got into the Dentist…you need a root canal which will cost (a lot of money) even with insurance. Got in to see my regular Doctor who gave me antibiotics and referred me to an ENT specialist.

A few weeks ago I had my initial work done on my tooth. Not fun!!! It was very painful and uncomfortable. In fact, I had a really bad reaction to the point that I actually had a “panic/anxiety attack” – this has never happened to me. I had to be on pain killers for “ever” after this work was done.

This week:

Monday – ENT visit. An interesting visit to say the least – won’t bore you with the details. However, let me entertain you with this - I was sitting in the examining room minding my own business, trying to explain to an “overworked, hurry up I only have five minutes with you” kind of doctor what my problems where when he said, “Okay, I will look down your throat.” I’m like, “okay” As he is making his way to me with this thing in his hand, I open my mouth and he says, “O, you don’t need to open your mouth. This will go through your nose.” (PAUSE FOR EFFECT – yes, if your eyes are open and your mouth ajar, this is kinda-sorta my reaction). Before I knew it a foreign object was making its way through my nose – pain, discomfort, tears rolling – while two helpers looked on as the doctor breezed through the procedure without blinking an eye – after all, he has had this done twice, well that makes me feel better! After this extremely invasive procedure I was literally escorted (and that is putting it extremely politely) out of the room and told I will get a follow up appointment. I guess the doctor was running late and hadn’t met his patient quota for the day (just my observation).

Tuesday – Dentist visit. Continued work on my tooth. Once I began to sit in the chair and see all the instruments, then I saw the syringe and I felt myself getting anxious again. The work took forever and my mouth and jaw were in absolute pain…more pain medication.

Wednesday – Chiropractor visit. This was a nice visit, aside from the fact that because I’ve been Spring Cleaning I threw my back and other parts of my body out. But it was a nice visit:)

Thursday – I wanted to continue my Spring Cleaning so my goal was to tackle one of the rooms today and work all day, since I didn’t have any appointments and my body had been put back together. However, at around 10:00 a.m. I get a call saying that I need to go get a CT Scan of my neck to make sure that I have no masses. What?! (jaw and eyes wide open again!)

So, after fasting for four hours I head on to the Scan place. The nurse couldn’t find my veins…she finally got one on my hand which was extremely painful. Then we went through this procedure with dye shot into my veins. At one point I began to feel really “HOT” and began to breathe really fast – is this another panic/anxiety attack coming on??? Okay, so is this going to be a regular now?

And while I’m at it, is it just me or has office etiquette gone out the window? I have been amazed at the kind of conversations that medical office employees (and any other professional employee) carry on amongst themselves while there are patients around. Do they realize how unprofessional and uncomfortable this is for the patient? Do they realize that this gives their office an awful reputation? Does their boss know that they carry own these kind of conversations in the front office? Just wondering…

And a note on Spring Cleaning…I am so excited that I have been able to accomplish so much thus far. I haven’t been able to do any of this for a while and so for me to have done what I’ve done, it’s exciting. However, the down side is that today I already see DUST!!! Once work never ends – sigh!

Resurrection Celebration at Gracia Calvary

Pleasant Surprise

Today I had an incredible surprise...my friend, Amy (far right) came over to visit.

This group of women were and have been such a blessing in my life. When I started to homeschool, these women and I would get together to pray for our children and for us as we ventured into the incredible ministry of homeschooling. We would also get together for fun times. This picture was taken at a Tea given by Hamilda (far left). She put on a feast for us. She had "minks" and hat for each one of us. We had such a wonderful time! This was only one of many times that we enjoyed each others company. Well, as life would have it we have all entered different seasons of our lives, however, each one of them has a very special part in my heart. Some years ago, Amy moved to Colorado. This weekend she was visiting her girls in California and she made time to come and sit with me for a while. It truly was a pleasant surprise and an incredible visit. Thank you Amy for making time to come by. Maybe one day I will visit you in Colorado;)

The Tale of Three Trees

(This story was e-mailed to me by a friend. It so touched my heart, I wanted to share it. So often we forget "our dreams" in the midst of challenges, of changes, yet God's plan for our lives continues despite those seeming "mistakes" or "detours". I am also reminded that God's ways are not my ways, nor are His thoughts my thoughts. God will complete the good work He began in us...to the glory of God. Amen!)

The Tale of three Trees

Once upon a mountain top, three little trees stood and dreamed of what they wanted to become when they grew up. The first little tree looked up at the stars and said: "I want to hold treasure. I want to be covered with gold and filled with precious stones. I'll be the most beautiful treasure chest in the world!" The second little tree looked out at the small stream trickling by on its way to the ocean. "I want to be traveling mighty waters and carrying powerful kings. I'll be the strongest ship in the world!" The third little tree looked down into the valley below where busy men and women worked in a busy town. "I don't want to leave the mountain top at all. I want to grow so tall that when people stop to look at me, they'll raise their eyes to heaven and think of God. I will be the tallest tree in the world."

Years passed and the little trees grew tall. One day three woodcutters climbed the mountain. The first woodcutter looked at the first tree and said, "This tree is beautiful. It is perfect for me." With a swoop of his shining ax, the first tree fell. "Now I shall be made into a beautiful chest, I shall hold wonderful treasure!" the first tree said. The second woodcutter looked at the second tree and said, "This tree is strong. It is perfect for me." With a swoop of his shining ax, the second tree fell. "Now I shall sail mighty waters!" thought the second tree. "I shall be a strong ship for mighty kings!" The third tree felt her heart sink when the last woodcutter looked her way. She stood straight and tall and pointed bravely to heaven. But the woodcutter never even looked up. "Any kind of tree will do for me." He muttered. With a swoop of his shining ax the third tree fell.

The first tree rejoiced when the woodcutter brought her to a carpenter's shop. But the carpenter fashioned the tree into a feed box for animals. The once beautiful tree was not covered with gold, nor with treasure. She was coated with sawdust and filled with hay for hungry farm animals. The second tree smiled when the woodcutter took her to a shipyard, but no mighty ship was made that day. Instead, the once strong tree was hammered and sawed into a simple fishing boat. She was too small and too weak to sail to an ocean, or even a river. Instead she was taken to a little lake. The third tree was confused when the woodcutter cut her into strong beams and left her in a lumberyard. "What happened?" The once tall tree wondered. "All I ever wanted was to stay on the mountain top and point to God..."

Many, many days and nights passed. The three trees nearly forgot their dreams. But one night, golden starlight poured over the first tree as a young woman placed her newborn baby in the feed box. "I wish I could make a cradle for him," her husband whispered. The mother squeezed his hand and smiled as the starlight shone on the smooth and the sturdy wood. "This manger is beautiful," she said. And suddenly the first tree knew he was holding the greatest treasure in the world.

One evening a tired traveler and his friends crowded into the old fishing boat. The traveler fell asleep as the second tree quietly sailed out into the lake. Soon a thundering and thrashing storm arose. The little tree shuddered. She knew she did not have the strength to carry so many passengers safely through the wind and the rain. The tired man awakened. He stood up, stretched out his hand and said, "Peace." The storm stopped as quickly as it had begun. And suddenly the second tree knew he was carrying the King of heaven and earth.

One Friday morning, the third tree was startled when her beams were yanked from the forgotten woodpile. She flinched as she was carried through an angry jeering crowd. She shuddered when soldiers nailed a man's hands to her. She felt ugly and harsh and cruel. But on Sunday morning, when the sun rose and the earth trembled with joy beneath her, the third tree knew that God's love had changed everything. It had made the third tree strong. And every time people thought of the third tree, they would think of God.

That was better than being the tallest tree in the world.

Women's Bible Study Fellowship

Our Women's Bible Study had a night of fellowship. It was wonderful to hear how the LORD is ministering to each individual woman exactly where they are at. Isn't that the way the Word of God is? One Book can speak to each personally. It was encouraging and exciting to hear what the LORD has done. We are looking forward to what He will do with the rest of the time we have together.

(This is totally aside...the bummer for me, personally, is that in the morning I had a root canal done and I totally did not enjoy my dinner. btw I had so forgotten what this whole experience was like, that as I started to remember and relive it I began to get an anxiety attack on the dentist chair - thank God for His Word which He has so graciously helped me to memorize. I began to think Scripture and to remember worship songs...then the whole process was finally over...thank you Jesus!)

Since I wrote the previous post I haven't been able to shake some additional thoughts -

What I've read, thus far, in the book The Darkness and the Glory is too deep and heavy to be able to do it justice by simply typing a few quotes. I quoted from Chapter 3 - The Darkness, but I want you to be aware that the quotes I picked are not even minutely close to what has ministered to me. In fact the entire chapter has me chewing, chewing, chewing. You would have to read the chapter in its entirety, and in that matter the entire book, in order to get the context and the entire picture.

Hebrews 12:1-4 - Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.

2 Corinthians 8:9 - For you know the grace of our LORD Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, that you through His poverty might become rich.

The Darkness and the Glory

A while back I was given a book called The Darkness and the Glory by Greg Harris. I was excited about the book, but I must admit that having read Dr. Harris’ first book, The Cup and the Glory, I was kind of apprehensive about reading this second book. Now, don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed reading The Cup and the Glory, however it was extremely sobering – Lessons on Suffering and the Glory of God is simply not the kind of lessons I jump at the chance to get into. I was also going through a lot of “hard-things” in every day life, and so getting into a “deep-book” was not something I wanted to do. I wanted something “light-flowery-kind-of-book”. However, God kept prompting me to pick up the book – The Darkness and the Glory.

In the beginning, do to my state of mind, I was simply not getting into it. I even thought of putting the book down and away until another “season”, but God would not allow me to.

I am not finished reading the book, however, the things that have been etched in my heart are so deep; they are not the kind of things that you read and move on. Some of the aspects of My Savior’s crucifixion have been shown me through this book that I couldn’t even began to think or understand. Thus far Chapter 3 has left a picture in my heart that has been so deeply sketched that I can’t shake it from my mind. Dr. Harris writes about those three hours of darkness during Jesus’ crucifixion in a way that I have never heard and in a way that shake me to the core.

And I quote:
…In answer as to why the darkness was over the cross comes this best bliblical response: in the same manner by which the Abrahamic and Mosaic Covenant had darkness when they were ratified, so too did God employ darkness as He ratified His New Covenant in the blood of Jesus. This obviously requires God’s presence at the cross. Could God possibly be absent from a covenant that He Himself ratifies?

…Part of what made the cup that Jesus drank differ from all others and also added to torture that marred His body beyond measure was this second element unique to Him: God the Father struck and smote God the Son. Satan and rebellious man each had his role in this crime, and God held each party accountable for his actions. However, the Father played a unique role in Jesus’ suffering.

…While human and satanic agents all had a part, the Word mandates a specific and deliberate striking of God’s Messiah by the Father – a fact that we would never know unless God revealed it. Somewhere in the crucifixion narrative, in order for Scripture t be fulfilled, there must be a divine striking of God’s own Shepherd by God Himself.

…It seems best to understand that Satan had completed his God-ranted hour of authority at this point. He would no more play a major role in the crucifixion from this point onward; Scripture makes no more reference to him again regarding the crucifixion. What would transpire now lay only in the Father’s hands. Jesus had endured so much by the midpoint of His crucifixion, yet the two most horrific aspects of His suffering were only now beginning. No one needed to explain to either the angelic or demonic realm the key question at hand: what would god the Father do once He approached His son?

…For three hours – divine wrath inflicted and received by the One alone able to do so.

For three hours – silent, willful submission by the Lamb of God, the Servant of Yahweh.

For three hours – Jesus bore the full burden of sins past, present, and future.

For three hours – the Father smote the Son with the full wrath He alone could render.

And then – He stopped.

~~~~~~

I read Dr. Harris’ blog and on his post dated January 30, 2009 he writes, “With The Cup and the Glory, many of them had life experiences of their own cup and hardships. With The Darkness and the Glory, which deals with the cup that Jesus alone had to drink because no one else could, it has been a lot less vocal as a reverential awe and worship of what Jesus endured for us permeated our last session. There were still comments, of course, but when we look at what He endured, we see how far removed we are from Him, and often there are no words fit to express this. This is fitting and is as God intends and is at the heart of true worship.”

And to think that Jesus did this for you, for me…

Dr. Harris website: http://www.glorybooksministry.org/
Dr. Harris blog: http://glorybooksministry.blogspot.com/

I just saw a video/testimonials in a blog I visit that moved me to tears. Go over to Sue's Blog and check it out...I know it will minister to you.

ROOTS...

Wow! What God, once again is showing me is so incredible. The other day I noticed these huge, ugly roots in my back yard.

Who put them there? I didn’t. I didn’t plant them; I didn’t nurture them; I didn’t even water them. Yet, they grew and grew and grew. It took my husband and an ugly, big, steel pick to pull them out. And let me tell you the process wasn’t simple. My husband had to break up the ground all around the weed, he had to dig and dig and dig. Then he had to yank, and pull and dig some more, and pull some more, finally managing to get the weed with only some its roots out. Then by hand he had to clean out the remaining roots on the ground, otherwise we will soon have more weeds.

One of the things the LORD showed me was that although I had nothing to do with planting this weed, I had a choice of whether to leave it there or to take it out. I could have said, “It doesn’t bother me”; “I can’t take it out”; “It’s not that bad anyway”; “I don’t want to bother anyone to help me take it out”, “It’s been there all this time, why take it out now”, etc.

ROOTS – deep, embedded issues, situations, etc. that have left their ugliness in my heart, in my life…

As I thought about this, the LORD brought to mind something I had read in the book, “Hinds Feet on High Places” by Hannah Hurnard

Chapter 16 – Grave on the Mountain

…they (Much Afraid, Sorrow and Suffering) found it to be some kind of stone altar with the indistinct figure of someone standing behind it.

“This is the place,” said Much-Afraid quietly. “This is where I am to make my offering.” She went up to the altar and knelt down…

She knelt there quite alone in the cold, clammy mist, beside the desolate altar in this valley of shadow, and into her mind came the words which Bitterness had flung at her long before when she walked the shores of loneliness: “Sooner or later, when he gets you up on the wild places of the mountains he will put you on some sort of a cross and abandon you to it.”

It seemed that in a way Bitterness had been right, thought Much-Afraid to herself, only he had been too ignorant to know and she too foolish at that time to understand that in all the world only one thing really mattered, to do the will of the one she followed and loved, no matter what it involved or cost. Strangely enough, as she knelt there by the altar, seemingly abandoned at that last tremendous crisis, there was no sign or sound of the presence of her enemies.

The grave up on the mountains is at the very edge of the High Places and beyond the reach of PRIDE and BITTERNESS and RESENTMENT and SELF-PITY, yes, and of FEAR too,…(emphasis mine)

After she had waiting for a little and still he had no come, she put out her hand and with one final effort of failing strength grasped the natural human love and desire growing in her heart and struggled to tear them out. At the first touch it was as though anguish pierced through her every nerve and fiber, and she knew with a pang almost of despair that THE ROOTS HAD WOUND AND TWINED AND TRUST THEMSELVES INTO EVERY PART OF HER BEING (emphasis mine). Though she put forth all her remaining strength in the most desperate effort to wrench them out, not a single rootlet stirred.

For the first time she felt something akin to fear and panic. SHE WAS NOT ABLE TO DO THIS THING WHICH HE ASKED OF HER (emphasis mine). Having reached the altar at last, she was powerless to obey. Turning to those who had been her guides and helpers all the way up the mountains, she asked for their help, and for them to do what she could not for herself, to tear the plant out of her heart. For the first time Suffering and Sorrow shook their heads.

“We have done all that we can for you,” they answered, “but this we cannot do.”

At that the indistinct figure behind the altar stepped forward and said quietly, “I am the priest of this altar – I will take it out of your heart IF YOU WISH.” (emphasis mine)

Much-Afraid turned toward him instantly. “Oh, thank you,” she said. “I beg you to do so.”

He came and stood beside her, his form indistinct and blurred by the midst, and then she continued entreatingly, “I am a very great coward. I am afraid that the pain may cause me to try to resist you. Will you bind me to the altar in some way so that I cannot move? I would not like to be found struggling while the will of my Lord is done.”

There was complete silence in the cloud-filled canyon for a moment or two, then the priest answered, “It is well said. I will bind you to the altar.” Then he bound her hand and foot.

When he had finished, Much-Afraid lifted her face toward the High Places which were quite invisible and spoke quietly through the mist. “My Lord, behold me – here I am, in the place thou didst send me to – doing the thing thou didst tell me to do, for where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried; the Lord do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me” (Ruth 1:17).

Still there was silence, a silence as of the grave, for indeed she was in the grave of her own hopes and still without the promised hinds’ feet, still outside the High Places with even the promise to be laid down on the altar. This was the place to which the long, heartbreaking journey had led her. Yet just once more before she laid it down on the altar, Much-Afraid repeated the glorious promise which had been the cause of her starting for the High Places. “The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet and he will make me to walk upon mine High Places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments” (Hab. 3:19).

The priest put forth A HAND OF STEEL, right into her heart. There was a sound of RENDING AND TEARING, and the human love, with all its myriad rootless and fibers, came forth. (emphasis mine)

He held it for a moment and then said, “Yes, it was ripe for removal, the time had come. There is not a rootlet torn or missing.”

When he had said this he cast it down on the altar and spread his hands above it. There came a flash of fire which seemed to rend the altar; after that, nothing but ashes remained, either of the love itself, which had been so deeply planted in her heart, or of the suffering and sorrow which had been her companions on that long, strange journey. A sense of utter, overwhelming rest and peace engulfed Much-Afraid. At last, the offering had been made and there was nothing left to be done. When the priest had unbound her she leaned forward over the ashes on the altar and said with complete thanksgiving, “It is finished.”

Then, utterly exhausted, she fell asleep.