It has been interesting around here. I will write in more detail later, but for now I wanted to share a devotion I read today. The minute I read the title, well...I will let you read it yourself. God so knew I needed this today:

"GO AHEAD AND CRY"
When you hurt the worst—go to your secret closet and weep out all yourdespair!

Jesus wept. Peter wept—bitterly! Peter carried with him the hurt of denying the very Son of God. Those bitter tears worked in him a sweet miracle. He came back to shake the kingdom of Satan.

Jesus never looks away from a crying heart. He said, "A broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise" (Psalm 51:17). Not once will the Lord say,"Get hold of yourself! Stand up and take your medicine! Grit your teeth and dry your tears." No! Jesus stores every tear in his eternal container.

Do you hurt? Badly? Then go ahead and cry! And keep on crying, until the tears stop flowing. But let those tears originate only from hurt—and not from unbelief or self-pity.

Life goes on. You would be surprised how much you can bear with God helping you. Happiness is not living without pain or hurt. True happiness is learning how to live one day at a time, in spite of all the sorrow and pain. It isl earning how to rejoice in the Lord, no matter what has happened in the past.

You may feel rejected. You may feel abandoned. Your faith may be weak. You may think you are down for the count. Sorrow, tears, pain, and emptiness may swallow you up at times, but God is still on his throne. He is still God!

You can't help yourself. You can't stop the pain and hurt. But our blessed Lord will come to you, and he will place his loving hand under you and lift you up to sit again in heavenly places. He will deliver you from the fear of dying. Hewill reveal his endless love for you.

Look up! Encourage yourself in the Lord. When the fog surrounds you and you can't see any way out of your dilemma—lie back in the arms of Jesus and simply trust him. He wants your faith—your confidence. He wants you to cry aloud—"Jesus loves me! He is with me! He will not fail me! He is working it all out right now! I will not be cast down! I will not be defeated! I will not be a victim of Satan! God is on my side! I love him—and he loves me!"

The bottom line is faith. And faith rests on this one absolute: "No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper…" (Isaiah 54:17). (From David Wilkerson)

Happy 24th Birthday, Angie!

Angie, today

Angie at 6 months

24 years ago God blessed us with this beautiful little girl.

How awesome God is! He has done, and continues to do, above and beyond all that we have asked and prayed. Yes, her life is nott "normal"...it is extraordinary, because her God is an extraordinary God.

Thank you LORD for this beautiful blessing!

Happy Birthday, Angie! Love you tons!!!

The Prodigal

I read the following:

"...I was touched by the deep need of the prodigal..."

My immediate response was -

"WHAT?!

The prodigals deep need?! What about the heartache and pain it brings the parent(s)? What about the parent(s) shattered dreams, expectation, plans? What about the parent(s) shame, pain, agony?

What about the parent?!"

I don't think I've ever thought about this side of the story.

What is the prodigal thinking? Is the prodigal really having such a great time out "in the world"? When all the lights, all the glitter, all the "noise" dies down, what is left in the prodigal's mind?

Luke 15:17 says, "but when he [the prodigal] came to himself, he said..."

This shows a turning point. A point that the prodigal "comes to himself". Before this turning point, it was all "eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow I die" or was it?

Father give me Your heart, give me Your eyes to see - beyond my pain, my heartbreak - that soul who is so lost, so needy. Father, You came to save and deliver. Father there is nothing impossible for You. Father, You will perfect all that concerns me, for I trust in You. Bring that lost soul to the point of realizing he/she is lost and in need of a Saviour. We trust in You. We believe in You. In Jesus Name - Amen!

HE Conquered the grave - Hallelujah!

Today we celebrate the fact that Jesus conquered the grave. JESUS has risen from the dead - Hallelujah!

Thinking that December 4th, 2009 (4 months ago) Mother's very sick and frail body took its last weak, shallow breath here on this temporal earth. However, she opened her eyes with no frailty whatsoever, no difficulty breathing and able to RUN to her Savior, Jesus Christ.

O, what a Saviour!

O, what hope!

Because HE lives we can continue on with a hope that does not disappoint.

Hallelujah! What a Saviour!

One Pure and Holy Passion (song)

Another song that just resounds in my heart and soul:

"One Pure and Holy Passion"
By Christ Tomlin

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me on magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your dicsiple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after you
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in the truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you

Lord to know and follow hard after you
And to grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you

Spring Blossoms

I see all these beautiful evidences of "LIFE". What seemed dead is coming alive again.

This time of year reminds me of this song:

"You Are So Faithful"
Like the sun that rises everyday,

You are so faithful.

Lord, You are faithful

Like the rain that You send

And every breath that I breathe

You are so faithful, Lord

Like the rose that comes alive every spring,

You are so faithful.

Lord, You are faithful.

Like the life that You give,

to every beat of my heart,

You are so faithful, Lord.

I see the cross and the price You had to pay,

I see the blood that washed my sins away.

In the midst of the storm

through the wind and the waves,

You'll still be faithful,

You'll still be faithful,

When the stars refuse to shine and time is no more,

You'll still be faithful,

You'll still be faithful, Lord.

From Streams in the Desert:

...You can force a rosebud open, but you spoil the flower.
"Not what I will, but what you will" (Mark 14:36). Stephen Merritt


"His Way"
God sent me on when I would stay
('twas cool within the wood);
I did not know the reason why.
I heard a boulder crashing by
'Cross the path where I had stood.


He had me stay when I would go;
"Your will be done," I said.
They found one day at early dawn,
Across the way I would have gone,
A serpent with a mangled head.


I ask no more the reason why,
Although I may not see
The path ahead, His way I go;
for though I know not, He does know,
And He will choose safe paths for me.
---From Sunday School Times

Stepping Stone

After I wrote the last post and meditating about things, the LORD gave me the following through a friend:

From My Utmost for His Highest – If you become a necessity to someone else’s life, you are out of God’s will. As a servant, your primary responsibility is to be a “friend of the bridegroom” (John 3:29). When you see a person who is close to grasping the claims of Jesus Christ, you know that your influence has been used in the right direction. And when you begin to see that person in the middle of a difficult and painful struggle, don’t try to prevent it, but pray that his difficulty will grow even ten times stronger, until no power on earth or in hell could hold him away from Jesus Christ. Over and over again, we try to be amateur providences in someone’s life. We are indeed amateurs, coming in and actually preventing God’s will and saying, “This person should not have to experience this difficulty.” Instead of being friends of the Bridegroom, our sympathy gets in the way. One day that person will say to us, “You are a thief; you stole my desire to follow Jesus, and because of you I lost sight of Him.”

So, often I think I know best or I get in the way of what God want to do in the person and actually hinder God’s work in that person’s life.

Today in my devotion, Streams in the Desert I read about a monk who planted a an olive tree sampling. Each day he prayed for the tree and what, in his estimation, the tree needed to grow…rain, sun, frost…but it died. It was contrasted by another monk who also planted a little tree and his tree was thriving. This was his explanation: “I entrust my tree to its god. He who made it knows better than a man like me what it needs. I gave God no constraints or conditions, except to pray, ‘Lord, send what it needs – whether that be a storm or sunshine, wind, rain, or frost. You made it, and you know best what it needs.’ “

Father teach me to pray. To know when, to know how. Father may I be a “friend of the Bridegroom”, may I be a stepping stone, and may I not be a hindrance.

Memorial Service/Luncheon

Sometime back I received an invitation to a Memorial Service/Luncheon given by Charter Hospice for those that have gone on. This was the hospice that took care of Mom in her last day. It really blessed my heart. I really didn't know if I wanted to be part of this, but a friend encouraged me to attend. Now, I can say that I am so glad that I attended. The place was beautiful. A couple of weeks prior to the event, they had us submit a picture of our loved one so that they could make a slideshow.

The place was decorated with items that represented "life". They had tables all around the room where they had framed pictures of our loved ones - we were asked to bring one that day and we got to take it home. Our center piece was a branch with a bird nest and a butterfly (see picture above). It was simple, but beautiful. We also received and ornament as a reminder, a token. As the slide show was presented and the names of those loved ones where called out, the family members got to go up and light a candle - beautiful! We went outside and released balloons with loving thoughts about our loved ones, and they had a "releasing of the doves ceremony". It was so beautiful to see the different groups of doves gather together in the sky and then fly together. I thought of that song, "I'll fly away, o glory, I'll fly away." I thought about how one day, I too will fly away to heaven and will gather with those that have gone on before me - it was very moving. The visual was incredible!

They also read something about the meaning of the folding of the American Flag, that I had never heard before - I really liked it:

WHY THE AMERICAN FLAG IS FOLDED 13 TIMES

Have you ever noticed on TV or at military funerals that the honor guard pays meticulous attention to correctly folding the American flag 13 times? I've known how the 21 gun salute was determined (adding the individual digits of 1776), but only recently learned why the flag was folded 13 times when it is lowered or when it is folded and handed to the widow at the burial of a veteran.

HERE IT IS:

The first fold of our flag is a symbol of life.

The second fold is a symbol of our belief in eternal life.

The third fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing our ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of our country to attain peace throughout the world.

The fourth fold represents our weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.

The fifth fold is a tribute to our country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur, "Our Country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong."

The sixth fold is for where our hearts lie. It is with our heart that we pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States Of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

The seventh fold is a tribute to our Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that we protect our country and our flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of our republic.

The eighth fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day, and to honor mother, for whom it flies on Mother's Day.

The ninth fold is a tribute to womanhood; for it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded.

The tenth fold is a tribute to the father, for he, too, has given his sons and daughters for the defense of our country since they were first born.

The eleventh fold, in the eyes of a Hebrew citizen represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon, and glorifies in their eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

The twelfth fold, in the eyes of a Christian citizen, represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in their eyes, God the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit.

When the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding us of our nation's motto, "In God We Trust". After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the sailors and marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for us the rights, privileges, and freedoms we enjoy today. There are some traditions and ways of doing things which have deep meaning. You will see many flags folded in the coming weeks, and now you will know why.

After all this we were served an incredible lunch. I was so blessed with all that was done. There was a limit on the people we could bring - this was the only bad thing, because I wish I would have had more of my family members be a part of this.

Me-limited, frail; Christ-powerful and strong

Sitting helpless, unable to move or go take care of things outside or anywhere.

*Trash can knocked over; trash going all over the place. I want so bad to go and pick it up, but “I CAN’T”. All that is within me is dying to go and pick it up, but “I CAN’T”.

*”Things” in my back porch are being tossed around, some even falling and breaking, being shattered on the ground. “I CAN’T” shelter them, “I CAN’T” save them, I CAN’T even pick them up. All that is within me is dying to go and clean up, but “I CAN’T”.

I didn’t KNOW this wind was coming, it just showed up, unannounced. If I would have known, I could have been prepared – ready. Maybe I would have put some of the stuff on my back porch away or protected it in some way. I did not KNOW the wind was coming.

Sometimes things in our life “just happen” – they come unannounced, unplanned, we are simply not prepared for them. What is our reaction?

Sometimes people around us are falling, failing, breaking, shattered – do we think we can go pick them up and protect them? Do we think we can keep them safe?

In the spiritual realm, however, I am not helpless or unable to move. God tells me that I wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities (Ephesians 6:12) and that our weapons of our warfare are not carnal but MIGHTY in Christ Jesus to bring down strongholds (2 Corinthians 10:3-6).

Even if we are bed-bound we can pray and intercede for those in need of deliverance. It will be God who will pick them up and heal their brokenness. Then it will be HIM glorified and Christ exalted. (2 Timothy 2:9b…the word of God is not bound.)

Father, in our weakness and in our frailty, YOU remain strong; You remain able.

You are able to save.
You are able to redeem.
You are able to heal.
You are able to restore.

You are not limited.

You are All-Knowing, All-Powerful, Our Sovereign King, Bless Your Name, O LORD!