Hello Again :-)

It has been an incredibly long time since I've been on my blog. I've been itching to write, but somehow something else always takes my attention from it. As of late, my friend Vicki from http://victoriagaines.com/ has been posting some incredible quotes that just stir me up to write. And, can possibly be showing me some of the reasons I haven't written.

Some reasons:  Fear of being transparent. What will people think if I write that? Will I be exposed? And so many other fears...Wanting the writing to be just perfect instead of writing from the heart.  I remember reading in one of Vicki's posts something to the effect about thinking of writing something and actually writing it in my mind, but never putting it in print - ha! I do that all the time. I can come up with a story from one end to the next. I'll think, "I should put this on my blog. Okay, later...when I get a chance...in a bit...tomorrow...to finally end with why bother..." But the itch to write has never disappeared  It comes back time and again. Then there's FB that has satisfied a bit of that itch. However, I still come back to wanting to write in a more story like, thorough manner. Not just a thought or tidbit or whatever. So I will attempt to embark on this journey of writing once again...

We will see where this takes us...so pull up a chair, let's us reacquaint ourselves and see where it takes us.

God's Gentle Ways

I looked out my window and saw this beautiful red rose. Just when I needed most, My Heavenly Father, gives me such a beautiful gift - a beautiful rose in the middle of withering plants. I'm prompted to go and cut it so that I can enjoy it in my home. As I come in to put it in a vase, my mind travels back in time to December 2009...It was a few days before Mom's homegoing and, just like today, I saw a beautiful red, solitary, rose. the Spirit of the Living God prompted me to cut it and bring it as a gift for my ailing, frail mother - to brighten up her day...she loved rose bushes with their elegant, beautiful flowers.

Time...seasons...changes...

Today, My Heavenly Father, knew I needed a special gift to brighten up my day. He is doing so much in my life; He is healing, mending, shining His Light and goodness upon areas of my life that have been kept "safely, tucked away", never to be seen, never to be remembered...it hurts too much to remember. However, unless he takes the scabs away there will be no healing. I read this in a Study I'm doing: "It may be necessary for the LORD to remove the scabs from your wounds so that He can apply the Balm of Gilead, which is the Word of God, so that true healing can take place." That is what is happening...in His gentle way; in His loving way; in His Loving Father way...Today He just knew I needed Him to love on me in His gentle and loving way. Hence, He gave me this beautiful rose.

When I can't see You,
I know You are here
when I can't hear You
I will not fear
I will trust in YOU
and I will not be afraid

and when the battle is close at hand
I know You are with me to help me stand
I will trust in You
and will not be afraid

I WILL NOT BE AFRAID - I WILL TRUST IN YOU!

Outward Appearances

This is a picture of a cactus plant we have in our backyard...a picture of "nothingness"...no beauty, no blossoms, no fragrance...in fact, if you reach out to touch it, it will hurt you - it has very sharp needles and some softer ones that can stay in your skin and hurt you for days. Yet, I can tell you that I have picked it's "leaves" and made some yummy and nutritious meals for our family. It, also, yields some yummy fruit - a cactus pear. We enjoy it's fruit, too.

Those that don't "know" this plant or are not "familiar" with it would probably not pay it any mind. In fact, they would probably not want it anywhere near their surroundings.

Are we like one of these cactus plants? Do we have people around us like this cactus plant?

I'm asking God to teach me to "see" past the hardness, the roughness, the "don't get near me" kind of masks that are all around me. I'm asking Him to give me His heart...that I may see as He sees; that I might hear what He hears...get past the walls that most people have build around themselves in order to self-protect.

I'm asking God that "I" would be real, vulnerable...that I would allow the walls that I have built around myself in order to self-protect be shattered by His Mercy, by His Grace, by His relentless, pursuing LOVE!

Is that fresh air I feel - can I, safely, breathe?
Is that touch - HIS touch - a safe touch - I sense?
Are those words - HIS words - trustworthy?

Hummmmm...I sense my walls are being shattered by LOVE♥ (a safe, unconditional LOVE♥)

What is ahead? I don't know, but I KNOW the One who holds my tomorrows in His very able, caring, loving hands.

I will rest in the Arms of LOVE♥

Thankful for Thoughtfulness

These are pictures of the graves of some of my loved ones in Mexico. The little girl is one of my nieces that resides in Mexico.

I was so thankful for these pictures and the message that came with it. I received a message from my sister in law, that lives in Mexico, that she had visited Mom's grave and taken her flowers for her 80th Birthday. God so knew that this was a desire of my heart.

God you are fully aware of all things. Thank you!

Mom's 80th Birthday

(This is my Mom and Dad. I don't remember what year this was...love their smiles!)

Today Mom would have turned 80 years old.

Memories, thoughts, regrets...

Thankful that she is more alive today than she ever was. Thankful that today she can celebrate without any heartache and pain...or LONELINESS.

She is in the presence of Our King, Jesus. She is worshiping at His throne...she is alive and well.

One day it will all be okay...until then I hold on to the hope that does not disappoint - the hope in Jesus Christ!

Happy 25th Birthday My Sweet Girl

Today is my baby girl's 25th Birthday. She is a joy to my heart. She loves and serves our LORD Jesus Christ. God truly has shown Himself strong on her behalf, and has taught me so many lessons. I am so thankful that she loves and serves her Master and Friend. O what joy this brings to a mother's heart.

Happy Birthday My Sweet Little Girl :-)

Thoughts on My Brother, Oscar

My brother, Oscar lives in Mexicali, Mexico with his wife, Julieta. I don't visit much - I really don't know why. Lately the LORD has been placing three of my brothers (I have four brothers) on my mind and heart. My heart longs for them to have a relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ. This weekend we finally got the opportunity to go and visit him. I can't explain to you how it feels to see my baby brother (I'm the youngest, and he is a few years older than me) come to greet me. I see a man ravaged by all the effects of sin. I see a man hopeless and without joy; a man that has absolutely no hope; a man that feels so lonely and so useless...

This picture of me and my brother. My heart years for him to KNOW that he is loved...that he has a purpose. My heart longs for him to experience LIFE, real life in and through Jesus Christ who alone is the Way, the Truth and the Life.



I found this picture of Oscar when he was little. What happened to this little boy? What happened that has made his life a living hell? Did he have hopes, dreams, desires? Did he ever dream of being a movie star, an athlete, someone famous? Did he ever dream of playing with his children, of having a beautiful home? God, the enemy of our souls truly does come to steal, kill and destroy. But, Father, You are greater! God touch my brother's life. Please lift him from the miry clay and set his feet upon the Rock, which is Jesus Christ. Give Him Your abundant life and show him that you do love him and have a purpose and a plan for him.If you are so led, please put my brother on your prayer list. Thank you so much.

Our First Ladies Family Tea

The LORD put it on my heart to have a tea for all of my nieces. At first it was just a thought - a scary thought. Me, give a tea? What do I do? How? Will they come? Many, many questions and doubts. However, I just couldn't shake the thought. So I prayed, then I prayed some more. The LORD kept confirming it. Then it all started to come into place. At this time I was doing the Study of Esther, so I shared it with the ladies in my study. They were all excited and began to pray for me and the tea. Then one sister-in-the-LORD let me borrow china, another let me borrow table linens and so it went - the excitement began and continued. The day finally came and went. I believe all who attended were blessed. I know I was blessed by seeing all their beautiful faces. To God be the glory!

My Daughter's Graduation

Our daughter graduated from Mt. Zion International School of Ministry. My husband and I were blessed by the LORD with abundant provision for us to be able to travel and be part of this wonderful event. After the graduation we even got to go and spend a couple of days in New York. God is amazing!

On Sunday we had the opportunity to visit Time Square Church. What a blessing it was to be there for such a time. After the sudden passing of David Wilkerson, we were blessed to be part of his church memorial service. It really was a blessing.

We also got to be in New York when the announcement of Osama bin laden's death was announced...it was incredible. The city was in such celebration.

I still can't believe that we traveled to New York and Pennsylvania and now we are home. Incredible!

O, and I am enjoying having my baby girl home :-D

One of My Daughter's Jouneys

Three years ago this month my daughter, Angie, received a letter of acceptance from Mt. Zion School of Ministry. Her journey – this journey – began.

My daughter and I were (and are) really close. In fact, she used to say that she was my shadow. God had prepared me for this separation slowly, yet too fast (in my opinion). The LORD had led us to homeschool her. In January of the year she was to graduate she told me that she felt like the LORD was leading her to Bible College. My heart sank, but by God’s grace I did not discourage her, nor did I say anything negative about it. I simply told her that if that was what God was leading her to do, then we would pray and let Him lead. Inside, however, my mind was racing…”she can’t do ______”; “she will never survive”; “she doesn’t know how to______”, “LORD, this will never happen; this will never work. But, not what I think, but what You have for her. She is in your hands.” Not an easy prayer, but I knew that putting her in His hands (once again) was the best thing I could ever do. My mind said that this was the right thing to do, but my heart…o, my heart…

Well, she went on to go the Calvary Chapel Bible College in Murrieta, California. This was only 45 minutes away from home…but those 45 minutes, at this point of our life, were an eternity. The adjustment was bumpy for all of us. God was faithful and got us all adjusted. We could hop on our car and visit her and there were those weekends that she could actually come home – life was good…we had adjusted well. There was one little “glitch” in the wonderful-adjusting-period. Towards the end of her Bible College experience the LORD was really calling her to be separated only to Him. To be holy devoted and set apart only to Him. He gave her Isaiah 54:5 – “For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.” When Angela told me her Scripture and what God had impressed on her heart, my heart was pierced. I, then, sensed the LORD say to me, “She is my Bride. When a woman gets married she follows her husband wherever He says. Do not get in the way. She is no longer “yours” but My Bride.” O my, what emotions. Can I say my heart ached, yet there was peace. In no way did I even fathom what was ahead of us.

By God’s amazing grace and mercy, she graduated from Bible College only to plummet into an abyss of uncertainty and doubt. What happened? Where was she supposed to go from here? Where did she fit? Some dark times ensued and some very scary moments…I cried out to God; she cried out to God; people around us who loved her prayed for her. I kept remembering what He had spoken to my heart, so I prayed, prayed and prayed. There began to be some breakthrough and she started to venture into looking at some options. She applied here and there – for work, for school, for opportunities, but nothing seemed to open up. She would get discouraged. Anytime she would ask, “Mom, Dad should I apply?” We would say, “We will pray for you to make the right decision.”

When she applied to Mt. Zion School of Ministry, my heart sank. My thought was, “Pennsylvania!” But by God’s grace I did not say anything.

In April of 2008 she received a letter from Mt. Zion School of Ministry. She opened it with shaking hands. She was prepared for another rejection letter. Then she read, “You’ve been accepted…” She sobbed…we sobbed. She was happy, yet scared. I was happy, yet absolutely floored, petrified, scared, numb – God’s previous words to me kept ringing in my ears, so I embraced her and said I was so happy for her. Wow, just remembering that day brings chills to my mind…and here we are three years later. She is taking finals this week and then it will be graduation – April 30th – and then this journey will be over.

God has been faithful, o so faithful! He has provided everything that has been needed. Angela has grown leaps and bounds. Each semester, each year, has been so different, yet so good. She has had to endure much – some of the hardest events that happened while she has been there is that she has lost both grandmothers and her grandfather. Yet, through it all we have seen God shine in and through her and get her through. My mind can’t wrap around the fact that she has been so far away, yet God has sustained her, carried her, protected her, guided her, matured her, given her a heart that loves Him with all her heart, mind and strength – all without me…go figure.

Have I missed her? O, with all my being! Do I long to have her close to me? Absolutely! But only if that is what God has planned. You know, even though she is so far away, when we speak I feel her so close by. Our hearts are entwined, not because I am her Mom and she is my daughter, but because we are madly in love with the same man – Our LORD and Saviour, JESUS CHRIST!!!!

O what will He have for her next?

What will He have for me next?

What are His plans for us?

Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know that thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

1 Corinthians 2:9 – But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him.