Exceedingly Abundantly

Ephesians 4:20-21 - "Now to HIM who is ABLE to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to HIM be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

This Scripture is so special to me in so many areas of my life. However, when it comes to my daughter, Angie, it says volumes more. My baby girl (who is now 21) was born premature. I won't go into all the details of all her ailments and developments, both physical and mental. All I will say is that when she was little the "specialists" would prepare us about how she would never be a "normal" person. Sometime ago the Lord put this thought in my mind about my baby girl, "Angie's weaknesses will be her strengths. For in her weakness, I WILL BE STRONG." I have clung on to this thought as well as numerous Scriptures that the Lord has given me regarding my daughter. And so this Sunday as she played with the worship team (she plays the keyboard), well what can I say. To see her up there worshipping the Lord with her gifts, gifts that HE has bestowed upon her in spite of it all. What a privilege that is for a Mom and a Dad. But as Angie would say, "not to me, but to HIS Name be the glory." And I can tell you that she truly KNOWS this. God doesn't see how we see. His thoughts are not ours. Nor His ways ours. Truly Lord you are worthy of all praise and honor. And to you my beautiful daughter, "We are so proud of you for hanging in there. We love you! Always keep your eyes on JESUS!"

Do We Speak The Same Language?

Okay, so what part of "don't cut any part of your body" is not clear enough??? Yesterday I came home to Mom holding/pressing one of her fingers with a wad of paper towels. She smiled and said, "I cut the ball of skin that was bothering me." She had been bugging me, asking me to cut it, but I refused (call me crazy or something). This is not the first time she has done that. Once before she cut, yes she cut, with scissors, as she did this time, a ball that had formed on her tongue. Yes, my friend you can cringe. I on the other hand I had to stop the bleeding, you see Mom takes blood thinners! So after giving her a sermon and biting down so hard I could feel my ears pop, I made things okay. Dinner had already been really...I'll let you guess, so now to top things off this...uh, does it ever end???

This morning I decorated some more to adjust to this new adventure in our life. I already have the hand-rail and the hand-shower, but now I added the pretty sticker decor to the bottom of the bath-tub. The mats I have used just don't seem to do the job and so today we opted for a new decor on the bath-tub. As I was putting them on, trying to make them look cute, Mom comes into the bathroom with her normal, "I got to go." I said (as I am on my knees, blocking the toilet bowl), "go to my bathroom." She is still standing there trying to figure out what I am doing, still making noises. "Mom go to my bathroom." Still standing there...I now turn around and say, "Go to the bathroom or you are going to pee-yourself". "O yeah." Then she comes back and finally figures out what I am doing as she tells me, "I almost died in there." Don't worry, she was and is okay. I just shook my head and chuckled to myself. I also thought, "how much has changed around here. And how much will it still change?" You know when we are bringing a baby home we prepare for that baby accordingly. This I guess is similar. So many similarities...what will be next???

Thought Provoking Poem

"THE MOST BEAUTIFUL RAINBOW"
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

A friend of mine e-mailed me the above poem. It so touched my heart. I read it after our family reunion and the Lord totally ministered to me. HE showed me that HE enabled me to "laugh too much", "take pictures", and "love like you've never been hurt" - wow! To love like Jesus loved. To live today as if tomorrow would never be. Lord teach me to number my days that I may gain a heart of wisdom.

"The Becerra Family Reunion"

My Uncle Eugenio just recently had a heart attack. He is my Dad's brother. He is in his 80's. He loves parties. After his heart attack, he decided, to have a party. He told his daughter, "It is time to get the Becerra Family together" (let me tell you that is quite an endeavor, given all the strife in the entire family). Yesterday was "The Becerra Family Reunion". I hadn't seen my aunts and uncles in years (lots of years). Some of my cousins I have never met, and those that I had met, I hardly remember. It was nice to see faces that I knew and faces that I'd never met. The Lord gave me the opportunity to talk to each one of my uncles and aunt individually. (Thank you Jesus, may you bring fruit from this time.) I also got a chance to speak with one of my cousins, who now cares, for my uncle. She shared somethings about her care giving her Dad that made me think, "how incredibly similar" all the care giving experiences are. There truly is nothing new under the sun. The Lord gave me the opportunity to encourage her and hug her. Truly nothing we go through is in vane. Mom, of course, used her tongue to leave a few wounds. (Lord, may we use our tongue wisely.) Our tongue can build or tear...may we always use it to build up those around us, especially if we haven't seen them in a while. I must say that I had a good time seeing those loved ones who were part of my Dad. I got to see pictures of my Dad when he was young and to hear him spoken of in a wonderful manner. There might be another time of getting the family together since not everyone was able to make it in such short notice. I actually look forward to this happening.

A Broken World

Yesterday was my brother Carlos' (we call him Charly) 46th birthday. My heart felt heavy and wished I could pick-up the phone and have a chat with him. I must admit, I don't think about him much. He lives in Mexico (long-story...). I probably haven't chatted with him (a descent form of conversation) since 2002. I remember when we were still a "whole" family. Those were the days. Sin destroys. The memories are there, but I miss "him" so. And you know what, I am no different. If it wasn't for Jesus in my life, I don't know where I would be (I can give you a couple guesses, though). Just the other day my son reminded me of things that he remembers...let me tell you, I wish I could erase "those memories" from his mind. So this day I wish my brother a happy birthday. I trust one day God will make him whole again. For there is nothing impossible with God...just look at me.

A Welcomed Break

My daughter and I actually got a chance to go see a MOVIE. Aside from charging an arm and a leg for this past time and the goodies, it was a really nice break in all this turmoil. Saturday afternoon I decided - ENOUGH! So Angie and I drove off and sat and laughed. I hadn't been to a movie in ages. We went to see The Bee Movie. I laughed so hard and forgot all that would await me outside that theater. Thank you Jesus for a welcomed break!

Sorely Misunderstood

Chronic illnesses - wow! Please entertain me as I take a walk through memory lane...back in 2002 I ended up in a fetal position not being able to move or talk or nothing. My good friend, Susie, drove me to the Doctor where both he and she looked at me with great concern and amazement. He (my doctor) I must say was God sent as was my faithful companion-friend. He put me through tests and specialists from A through Z. The conclusion..."Fibromyalgia", fibe-what??? I had never heard of this term nor its implications. Because God has made me the way I am, I read and educated myself in this "new", at least to me, term/disease. I won't bore you with the rest of the details, we could be here forever. Let's us come back to the here and now. This past week I haven't been feeling too spiffy, but then again what's new. I'm going about my week getting progressively worse. I do all the things I am used to doing to calm or soothe my ailments, but I am still getting worse. By Thursday, I can't hardly swallow, my chest feels like I have an elephant on top of it and my breathing is getting really difficult. In addition to all this I am getting progressively weaker. But the trooper that I am...I keep going with ALL my duties. By this time my hubby is "TELLING" me to get in to see the doctor. I had/have already made my mind the no-more-doctor-appointments-for-me. In fact, not to long ago I told one of my friends that I would not be going in to see the doctor unless I passed-out and had to be taken by an ambulance. Well, yesterday, was such a day, minus the ambulance. My hubby drove me to the doctor (which I already had an appointment, do to the encouraging of loved ones around me). I was sweating, my tongue was going numb and rolling, my face was tingly as if falling asleep, my left arm was limp and I was slowly going under. We are at the doctors...ekg, proving, checking, etc. The nurse-practitioner was absolutely belittling. I was made to feel like a hypochondriac - cause of course "NOTHING", DID I SAY NOTHING...showed up on the tests. Gave me some antacids (which I have been taking at home already) sent me to get bloodwork and x-ray of my chest (which I know will show NOTHING) and home I go to my daughter go is mad cause she is bored to death and Mom is playing sick (sorry I deviated there for a while). But you know what this triggered in my mind? I remembered my sister. My sister has already passed away, but I remember when she was alive, she never really felt good. I used to think, "are you sick again?" "now what is wrong?" (yeah, same attitudes I get now). In fact, the "regular" doctors sent her to a psychiatrist/psychologist cause "they" couldn't figure her out. The psychiatrist/psychologist put her on anti-depressants cause they couldn't figure out. In fact, they would tell her that she needed to get a job to get her mind busy. If anyone, was a hard worker, it was my sister. Maybe not on a "official" job site, but she worked a whole lot at home. She took care of all of us...and that my friend was a full-time joy with lots of overtime. She worked 24/7. I'm saddened at the fact that my sister did not have what the Lord has allowed me, in His grace and mercy, to have. I have this intimate-personal-relationship with My Jesus, who comforts me and reassures me that "it is not all in my head", "I am not crazy", "I am not making it up". O God, that my sister would have had this. Yet I know that He was and is the same yesterday, today and forever. He was and is from the beginning. And He was there for my sis. He is not a mean God, but a God of mercy and grace. He is and was gentle and loving. When I don't understand, I will trust in YOU. When nothing makes sense, I will trust in YOU. He will make ALL things beautiful in His time. O the depths of the riches, both of the power and wisdom of God, how unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out. For who has known the mind of the Lord, and who has become His counselor? Who has first given to Him, it shall be repaid to him.

May You o God gives us understanding, gives us compassion, give us sensibility. I don't need to understand...more of YOU and less of me. YOU will increase, I will decrease. In my weakness, YOU are strong.

Just for Fun!

Ezekiel 1

Ezekiel 1:28 - ...the APPEARANCE of the LIKENESS of the glory of the Lord. And when I saw IT, I feel upon my face, and I heard a voice of one that speaks.

What caused Ezekiel to fall upon his face? Not the grand colors, the fire, the living creatures or all the beauty and spectacle of the whole vision. What caused Ezekiel to fall upon his face was "the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord." It wasn't even the full on revelation. It was only "a likeness". When Moses asked the Lord to show him His Glory, the Lord said to Moses, "I will make all my goodness pass before thee and I will proclaim the name of the Lord before the..." (Exodus 33:19) and in Exodus 33:20 the Lord said to Moses, "Thou canst not see my face: for there shall not man see me, and live."

When Ezekiel saw this "vision", on his face he went! What reverence, what fear of God. So often we approach Our Holy and Awesome King with such irreverence. He is a Holy God. Aside from us putting our trust in Jesus Christ and Jesus' righteousness being imputed to us, we could not even make it to the hallway, let alone the Throne Room. Yet, because of Jesus' sacrifice for me and me putting my trust in Jesus, NOW I can come boldly into the Throne Room of grace and find mercy and help in time of need. He wants us to come to Him and ask Him for help in our time of need, however, what He desires most is us coming into fellowship with Him, to spend time with Him. What an intimate God we have! This Holy God, NOW, calls me His friend! Is this not great? Yet, in this familiarity and freedom, let us not forget that He is Holy, Majestic, a Consuming Fire. He tells us, "Be ye holy, for I AM Holy."

Ask the Lord to renew, to revive that sense of Awe and Adoration for this Holy King. Fall on your face before Him and let Him touch you and lift you up. Let Him take you deeper still. There is no need to fear, yes He is Holy and Awesome, yet loves you and me with an everlasting, unconditional love.