Deceptive Feelings

Have you ever had those times when you "feel" as if you are doing nothing right? As if everything you have ever done has been of no consequense. That even those things you are doing are so half-hearted that you figure it will produce absolutely no good fruit? You continue to pray and seek God's face, because without this you crumble, but you wonder, "is it making a difference in the lives of those around you?" Well, let me tell you, don't go by feelings. Our feelings come and go. Our feelings can be so deceptive.

The Lord knows me so well that I guess He figured (He knew) I needed encouragement. He has been encouraging me through precious people whom I love. Comments have been made that have obsolutely touched my heart and made me realize that nothing I do for My Jesus is ever in vain - inspite of my feelings. Proverbs 15:23(b) says, "a word spoken in due season, how good it is!" And Proverbs 25:11 says, "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Our Words can tear and build. How beautiful when our words build and encourage.

So often when we are hurting or discouraged we isolate ourselves and have ourselves a grand pity-party. The enemy of our souls loves this, because then he has us all to himself. He can tear us up and make us miserable. When we isolate ourselves all we hear is our flesh and the enemy telling us how good for nothing we are and how nothing we've done matters. Proverbs 18:1 says, "A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment." Isolation is devastating. God wants us to fellowship and invest in people who will encourage us or exhort us when need be. By ourselves we are left to our own whim. I love the scripture in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 that says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up."

As of late I've experienced this "lifting up his companion". People around me have encouraged me and have blessed me. So don't isolate yourself, let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. HE is the one doing the work and HE is the one who is going to complete it. HIS word is the one that goes forth from HIS mouth; it shall not return to HIM void, but it shall accomplish what HE pleases, and it shall prosper in the thing for which HE sent it. HE who calls you is faithful who also will do it.

Abide in HIM and don't trust in your feelings. Trust HIM and HIS word to us. God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good? TRUST HIM...HE IS FAITHFUL, we are not.

Congratulations Son!

On Saturday my son took a written test for the Sheriffs Department. HE PASSED the written test, so he went on to the oral interview, which he also did well in. On November 5th he is scheduled for a background interview. My husband and I are so proud of this courageous step our son is taking. Don't ever give up Son!!! I ask that you keep him and this step in prayer that God's will be done.

Women's Conference

The Lord gave me the opportunity to attend the first Inland Empire Women's Conference. My wonderful husband agreed to stay and watch Mom AND to take care of her breakfast and lunch. I am such a fortunate woman. Thank you Lord, bless my husband. I was so excited and expectant to hear what the Lord had for me and all those who were to attend. Calvary Chapel Chino Valley was buzzing with excitement and anticipation. I got to see allot of ladies that I'd met while we attended this fellowship and I also saw ladies from Calvary Chapel Rancho Cucamonga. It was so exciting to see all the smiling faces and how much we ladies love to talk with each other.

The first speaker was Sandy Macintosh, she challenged me to "invite suffering in my life". It took a while for me to swallow this one. I thought, "more suffering, you got to be kidding." She encouraged me not to settle for less than what the Lord has for me. The second speaker was Carrie McDonnall. Talk about inviting suffering into your life. She is a missionary to Iraq. She is 30 years old and has suffered and endured more than I can fathom. She totally encouraged us to live for Christ. She had so much to say that I can't do it justice, but I can tell you she totally challenged me to look beyond the here and now. Jean McClure was very practical and encouraged us to keep a devotional life. The last speaker was June Hesterley. She too was very practical and brought all the earlier points all into focus. She encouraged us to go deeper. One thing she said was, "God breaks a person not to let good out, but to let good in".

So as the Lord gave me this opportunity to attend such an incredible event, my prayer is that it is not just another event with lots of notes on paper. That I would take to heart all that the Lord spoke to me personally and that I would be encouraged in those areas that He encouraged me in. Thank you Jesus for these women. May we be women that impact others for YOU.

100 Workouts!

Okay, so I am totally excited about getting my first Curves T-shirt - 100 workouts! God has been so gracious to allow us to have the budget for this. When I first started I thought, "okay, here we go." I can tell you that I didn't think I would keep at it. Somedays, it takes more than encouragement and desire. God has given me the ability to use this as a means to keep me flexible and mobile. When I first began my journey with fibromyalgia, "exercise" would have been a four-letter-word...no way, no how. Bend how? Pull where? Do what? And so to be at this stage, I can't help but rejoice in My Jesus who has given me this avenue to keep myself mobile in order to do those things that He calls me to do. Thank you Jesus!

Let's Go Shopping

Yesterday, Bek and I went shopping. It was her 3rd birthday on Tuesday and this day was our day to go shopping together for her birthday gift. We went to, now, my favorite store K-mart. Bek wanted to ride on the purple car, but we opted out for the Van since the purple car had no gas. Bek is now in her car seat teaching Auntie Leti how to properly buckle her in...okay, we managed and off we go. We had a nice conversation on our way there. We are here and in we walked with a skip on our step. We picked out a cart and off we went on our fun-filled adventure. Auntie Leti got a little distracted by the nice clothes, but was reminded of our goal in this shopping trip - TOYS! Once on track, off we go to the toy department. As you can see from the pictures Bek had a ball going from one thing to another...until she saw what she wanted, picked it up and her face lit up and said, "I want this one!" and into the basket it went (a toy train). She also picked a "princess" set. We lined them all so that she could pick the one she wanted. She picked Cinderella and herself, put the rest away. Okay, we are done. I had to pick up some things (I always do when I am at K-mart). She walked besides me and at times helped pushing the cart. We ran into a huge spider...she was quite taken by it and a really ugly cat. Then she saw a cute cat and went to hug it and pull it's ears. We walked some more. She giggled and chuckled all through our trip. My heart filled with wonder as I saw how happy she was. We are finally at the checking stand and she saw "lollipops!" "I want a lollipop" she said. "Okay, what color?" "Pink". I told the lady at the check-stand that we were there for Bek's Birthday and so the lady asked Bek how old she was and Bek put out her 3 fingers with a smile. Of course, the lady was taken by this cutie. We got home and guess what was her favorite part of the trip...the lollipop. Laura opened it up for her and she thoroughly enjoyed it.

I would have never thought of doing this...Laura, thank you for suggesting it. This was so much fun to see things from a child's perspective. Not rushing, not being concerned about what she did or did not do, but simply enjoying her JOY.

Contentment

This morning as I awoke and went about my daily morning routine, it was business as usual. Move, stretch, ouch, I can't, just do it, etc...As I was taking my morning shower a thought hit me, "I'm taking a shower, in my own shower, with hot water. I will go out and have a clean towel, then I will go choose what clothes to wear from a closet full of clean clothes..." Why these thoughts you wonder? Well, you see, as of late the Lord has been speaking to me that "godliness with contentment is great gain." My girlfriend and I were talking about this the other day and we agreed that in the grand scope of things we are pretty content with our lot in life. And yes, there are those times that I can get on the bandwagon and start to find kinks in everything and everyone that surrounds me. However, the reason these thoughts were so overpowering this morning is due to the enormous damage that the fires have caused. I thought about those people that have been evacuated and are in shelters, or someplace else, not knowing what they will find when they return home or if there will even be a home to return to. And those that have the fires coming their way. How your life and circumstances can change in an instant without any warning. So today I will choose to be thankful. Thankful for my family, my home and all that surrounds me. Thankful that even when I think that life isn't fair, God tells me in His word that ALL things will work for good to those that love God and that are the called according to His purpose. Lord, thank you for your grace, thank you for your mercy. Forgive me when I am ungrateful. Give me a grateful heart. Be with all the people affected by the fires. And give the firefighters strength to endure and protection in the midst of the fires. In Jesus Name-Amen

Happy 3rd Birthday Bek!
We love you, sweetie.

Wow! We have been busy around here - a good kind of busy though. On Thursday Herlinda, Isaiah, Angie and I went for a whirlwind of a shopping spree. We had shower gifts, retreat toiletries, etc. to buy. We had a wonderful time and in fact even took a break for lunch. Friday was more preparation for Angie's Retreat and then she was off to Hemet. Thank you all for your prayers. She had a wonderful time with the Lord and making new friendships. God truly did above and beyond all that was asked and prayed for (He always does!). Saturday Annie and Bek came over the house. We had a wonderful time. The girls love Angie's room and thoroughly enjoy playing the keyboard. I sit and watch them how they are so alive and so full of joy. I laugh at their antics and their creativity. How wonderful to be a kid! Sunday was packed. In the morning we went to church. And truly this is the highlight of Sundays. Reminds me of Psalm 122:1 that says, "I was glad when they said to me, "Let us go into the house of the Lord." Our Pastor gave another encouraging message. One that encouraged, comforted and exhorted me. I love how God's word is so alive and when it comes out of men's lips it truly cuts to the heart. In the afternoon we gathered together at the Becerra's house for Maribel's baby shower. Monday, nor wind, nor fire kept my Lulu from coming-down-the-mountain to enjoy a Pho lunch together. We had a wonderful time. Although, I think she came more for the Pho noodles than for me. If you look at the pictures she is mesmerized by the soup. All joking aside though, we truly enjoyed our visit. I don't seldom get to spend time with her and her girls and so this was a treat for both Angie and me. Come over more often Lulu!

My daughter, Angie, is off to the young adults retreat...yeah! I am so excited that the Lord opened up this opportunity for her. Please keep her and the rest of the group in prayer. The theme is FOCUSED and the Scripture reference is Acts 20:24 - "But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. - Pray that these young people will be so in love with Jesus that nothing else will matter.

Dinner

If you know my home and family, dinner can be an eventful time. Today, after having a really nice morning, I was having a good time getting dinner ready. We decided that I would not cook. We bought fresh bread and carnitas (pork) to make "tortas" for dinner. In fact, we even used disposable plates (yey! for Angie). So here I am getting the "tortas" ready. Everyone started to make their way into the kitchen (while I'm still putting the dinner together). Mom, as always, stood at the table and eyed everything and then sat down. By this time my hubby and my daughter are at the table too. Everyone was served I just needed to make mine. While I was making my torta I heard Mom say, "I can't eat like this!" (she just got dentures yesterday). I asked her, "do you want me to cut it, or..." She then says, "I'm just going to take them out!"...gasp! ugh! Before anything else could happen, she is taking her dentures out!!! My hubby and my daughter are looking down and I am rushing to get a paper towel and container to put them in. By the time I get to her, the dentures are ON THE TABLE!!! Thankfully they were in a napkin. I quietly took them and put them in her room. I sit to eat (my stomach is hurting and my jaw is so clenched I can feel a headache coming on). Okay...all is well in paradise. So what were we talking about...

Today my hubby took a day off work for a doctor's appointment. The Lord opened up an opportunity for us to spend some time together. My daughter agreed to "keep an eye" on her grandma while we spent the morning together. First we went out to breakfast. I joked with him as we were going into Carrows. As we walked past all the big cars I told him, "these cars all belong to senior citizens, you know?," and we laughed. Sure enough when we walked in the restaurant all there was were older couples (like we are some spring-chickens). It was interesting to see couples chatting with each other, while others simply sat there in silence. I pray that as my hubby and I grow older together we do not tire of chatting with each other and really spending time together not just with each other. It was nice to sit with him and be served (thank you Jesus for your provision). We laughed and I cried. It was really nice. From there he chauffeured me to my chiropractor for my appointment. Then we went grocery shopping together. Thank you Lord for this time together and for a time of rest. And thank you Angie for your willingness - I love you!

Life

Lately there has been allot on my mind. I see my surroundings and those precious people that are part of my life. I've realized that people enter my life and leave. There have been some precious people in my life that have been courageous enough to open up their hearts and speak forth openly about their love for those that have gone on before them. God bless them for their openness. I wonder what is that makes me go forth without a thought of those that have meant so much to me. They were real people that made an impact upon my life and are part of who I am. Now granted, not all have passed-away, some have moved far-far away. While others have been taken on different paths, yet they were still part of me and left part of them in me. At times my daughter will ask, "Don't you miss _____." (at times it hurts too much to remember; at times I choose to forget). As I sat in my in-laws kitchen yesterday I saw generation after generation. My mother-in-law and father-in-law are not how they were. The sun is coming down on their legacy. Yet I see the little ones that the sun is barely starting to shine. Life and death and everything in between. God give me the grace to leave a legacy that won't be forgotten or easily swept away. May the memories linger even after my departure. May those that are left behind remember and never forget. Oh the tapestry of life how many colors make it up. Vibrant colors and dark ones too, can't have one without the other. O Lord, teach me to number my days that I may gain a heart of wisdom. "You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Psalm 73:24, NIV" - and for those that have gone on...may I chose not to forget.

My Joy Is So Fleeting

Okay, so I've realized that my joy doesn't last very long. This morning I thought I was going to have a lazy morning (I can dream can't I). Anyhow, frustration began early, we won't even go there at this point. Then my son asked if I could iron some clothes. As I'm ironing, he asked for a ride - we are in the car now, but the car won't start. It finally started and off we go. When I got home, I figured, "hey, all the ironing stuff is still out. I should do my ironing for the week." (this week I haven't felt all that good, so I'm off schedule). I actually spent a good time ironing and listening to worship music. Done and now on to lunch. So, now I'm off on an adventure to find a gift for our pastor for tomorrow (tomorrow is "Clergy Appreciation Day"). It was as if the Lord told me where and what to get. So I'm off with an expectancy in my heart as to what the Lord was going to do. I arrived at my destination with a spark in my step, and sure enough I found exactly what was in my heart and where the Lord has said. I was so excited. I came out of that store praising the Lord. Then I drove to K-mart for some meds, yet I'm still praising Jesus for His leading. I get home and start bringing down the things I'd purchased, still joyful. I walk in the house to find Mom at the table doing her puzzle (by this time she's normally in her room watching TV). I asked her, "what happened? Why are you still here?" She says, "Oh, well someone kept knocking at the door so I came..." Yes, I did not let her finish her sentence and all the joy had in an instant evaporated. "You didn't open the door did you?" She says, "um, well, it was (my son's) friend and he said that (my son) had said to come and take his baseball glove..." Again, I interrupted with veins popping and eyes bulging. "Don't tell me you let him in?" Sheepish look proceeds and the rest you can imagine - no need to go into detail. Yes, my stomach felt like someone had just kicked me and taken the air out. My jaw clinched and I thought my ears where going to pop. Where was the joy and praise that filled my heart just minutes ago? Out the door, right along with common sense. God help me to hold on to you even in the midst of my weakness...

Caregiving

You know lately I've been pondering this and have wondered. Before the Lord put me in this situation I don't ever remember even hearing the term/word "caregiving; caregiver, etc". I don't even recall running into this phenomenon. I wonder, do we fully understand the sphere and realms this covers? If you haven't been part of this world of caregiving, can you even understand the undertaking? I've found that unless you have been in the trenches with fellow caregivers you can't even touch what this all entails. I remember when this first started, trying to vent and cry and share with sisters-in-the-Lord. Hearing from them, "this is an answer to prayer" "this is what you prayed for" - uh, this is what I prayed for?! Day in and day out you wonder, "am I doing more harm than good?" "is this day ever going to end", yet you know that at the end of this day, there will still be the next day. Just yesterday as I walked into Mom's room and saw what looked like blood on her pillow (granted I was already tired, yes, tired at 7:30am, and not feeling good) and the first thought is "o no, she is bleeding again!" So, I calmly walk over, give her her meds and walk over to the bed. I calmly asked, "are you bleeding again?" She, with a sheepish look gave me this song and dance about having fallen asleep with a chocolate in her mouth - don't even go there!!! It was all over the pillow case, the cover, etc. However, she swears it was only the leftover residue of a whole piece of chocolate...which she shouldn't have been eating at night anyway - okay, I've calmed down. (I won't bore you with the rest of the details.) Then it was bath time. Then (hallelujah, praise you Jesus!) after 6 weeks of doing a particular task, yesterday was the last day! Yeah! I refuse to think about what will happen next...this is the only way I can keep my sanity...thank you very much! Anyhow, sometimes I wonder, I ponder and I know that there are others out there that have it much worse than I do. I know their days are filled with so much more and so much aggravation, tiredness and frustration that they can't see straight. Because I trust and believe in a loving, all-knowing God I can say with assurance "it will all work out for good to those that love God and that are the called according to His purpose". No, this is not a cliche answer, it is God's Word and God always keeps His Word to us. If I didn't have this hope and belief, I would have already gone somewhere far-far-away and camped out in a tree, meditating upon my navel. All this to say, please pray for those around you that you know are caring for someone. Ask if they need help (and caregivers, don't feel too sufficient not to accept the help offered-we are that way, you know). If they are homebound, come and have a cup of coffee with them. On a side note, I remember once when two of my dear friends came to my door with Starbucks and simply sat and heard me vent and cry. My house was a mess and I was a mess, yet all that didn't matter. The Lord had brought to me two special angels to sit with me and hear my cry. Another time another sister came to the hospital (I think it was 10pm). I thought she was there to visit Mom, yet she walked over to me, held my hand and simply sat with me - thank you Jesus for those special things that you do for me that are so incredibly personal. That's it for now. I can't stop crying, but I am thankful for God's reminder to me of those beautiful moments that He has given me through others...I tend to forget amidst the grind. "He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it. 2 Thessalonians 5:24"

This was so awesome I had to share it. It is some quotes from "The Knowledge of the Holy" by A.W. Tozer. In this chapter he is talking about the attributes of God. He says, "If an attribute is something that is true of God, we may as well not try to enumerate them." The whole chapter is like a fine steak that needs to be chewed and chewed and enjoyed, otherwise you will miss out on the majesty of it all...

"O Majesty unspeakable, my soul desires to behold Thee. I cry to Thee from the dust. Yet when I inquire after Thy name it is secret. Thou art hidden in the light which no man can approach unto. What Thou art cannot be thought or uttered, for Thy glory is ineffable. Still, prophet and psalmist, apostle and saint have encouraged me to believe that I may in some measure know Thee. Therefore, I pray, whatever of Thyself Thou hast been pleased to disclose, help me to search out as treasure more precious than rubies or the merchandise of fine gold: for with Thee shall I live when the stars of the twilight are no more and the heavens have vanished away and only Thou remainest. Amen...

But in all this we are thinking creature-thoughts and using creature-words to express them. Neither such thoughts nor such words are appropriate to the Deity. "The Father is made of none," says the Athanasian Creed, "neither created nor begotten. the Son is of the Father alone, not made, nor created, but begotten. The Holy Spirit is of the Father and the Son: not made nor created, nor begotten, but proceeding.." God exists in Himself and of Himself. His being He owes to no one. His substance is indivisible. He has no parts but is single in His unitary being..."

Wow! chew on that...this is the God we serve.

Victorious In Him

The Scripture in my devotional (Our Daily Bread) was Colossians 2:6-15 (read it all to get the full context.) What stood out to me was "you are COMPLETE in Him, who is the head of all principality and power...buried with HIM...raised with HIM...And you, being dead in your trespasses...HE has made alive together with HIM...Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it." Wow!!! We have everything in HIM. You know in Ephesians 6:12 it says, For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." Yet from the Colossians passage we see that HE is the head of all principality and power and that HE has disarmed principalities and powers. Yet seldom do we walk as Victorious In HIM. If God is for us who can be against us. We are more than conquerors through Christ who strengthens us. Thank you Jesus for you not only saved me and love me with an unconditional love, but You also give me all that I need to get through and be victorious.

Help My Unbelief!

Praise the Lord we got my daughter's digital camera back. She had left it at church on Thursday and told me on Saturday that she had left it there. She, however, said, "don't worry Mom, I prayed and it is going to be okay." Out of the mouth of babes. Yesterday, we got the call that yes they had the camera and today we picked it up. Thank you Jesus! This reminded me of a time when we had to be somewhere at a certain time (it was something very important). Now I knew the Lord had told me to go and that we would make on time. So with this confidence and assurance we set out into the sunset. As we drove on our wonderful freeways the traffic got really bad, in fact we were practically stuck. So the doubts started to flood my mind, "did I hear right?" "We will never make it." and so on. Then the traffic would break and we would be rolling again saying, "I know we are going to make it, cause the Lord said so. Yeah, praise the Lord!" Stop, traffic congestion again and again and again. This was the process all through our trip. But, aside all this we made it on time and did what we had to do. As I drove back I totally felt like the Israelites in the wilderness, when minute the were all confident and praising the Lord and the other they were doubting, grumbling and complaining. Nothing has changed. I am so like them. And so the story of the camera. One minute we are like, "well, of course, we will get it back, we prayed." and the other I was like, "there is no way. It is a huge church and a bunch of people go through there." When will I learn?! Lord I believe, help my unbelief!

Courtesy...

I wonder if it is just me, but more and more I notice that common courtesy is becoming a thing of the past. I for one have made it a point that if I am in the grocery line, or any other line for that matter, I will not be on the cell phone - specially if I'm already in front of the checker. However, I am the exception to that rule. Yet, I've notice something even more rude - the checker's don't pay attention to the customer. I've had checker's on the phone, yes, their own personal cell phones, while they are checking my groceries...no eye contact, no looking making sure they aren't scanning things twice, etc. Today, was one of those days. However, what happened today was that the person in front of me apparently was a friend of the cashier and so they talked while she scanned her items (which is the thing to do), but when she was done scanning her items and began scanning mine she didn't even acknowledge me. This went on for all of my time in front of her. She finally finished scanning my items, I looked at the ATM machine and scanned my card (I don't need people to tell me what I have to do, but...) did my whole thing - yes, she is still talking to her friend - and then she gave me my receipt and briefly gazed at me and said a soft, "thank you", as she continued on with her conversation with her friend. The next customer came and I could see his face of unbelief as this checker continued on with her own personal conversation. Yes, my jaw was on the floor...maybe it is just me, but please can we show some courtesy. Do unto others as we wish done to us. Thanks for reading...

When you get a chance go into the link at the side-bottom "The Internet Cafe" and read the latest post titled "Climbing to Companionship". It is awesome and very convicting. May we desire "companionship" of our Savior Jesus - to behold Him in the beauty of holiness.

Ponderings

I've been pondering the thoughts of the posts of October 5 & 6. The Lord normally has me chew on thoughts and brings other Scriptures or quotes to bring home the point. I just started reading this book called "Full Life in Christ" by Andrew Murray (I love Andrew Murray's writings). The chapter is titled He Himself Calls Us - I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.-John 13:15. At the end of each chapter Andrew Murray ends it with a prayer and this prayer so touched my heart as it so relates to my previous posts (God is so thorough). quote---Gracious Lord, what can I now do but praise and pray? My heart feels overwhelmed with this wondrous offer that You will reveal all Your love and power in me if I will yield myself to let it flow through me to others. Though with fear and trembling, yet in deep, grateful adoration, I accept the offer with joy and confidence, and say, "Here I am. Show me how much You love me, and I will show it to others by loving them in the same way.' And that I may be able to do this, blessed Lord, grant me these two things. Grant me, by Your Holy Spirit, a clear insight into Your love for me so that I may know how You love me, how Your love for me is Your delight and blessedness, how in that love You give Yourself so completely to me so that You are indeed mine to do for me all I need. Grant this, Lord, and I will know how to love and live for others, even as You love and live for me. And then, grant me to see, as often as I feel how little love I have, that it is not with the love of my little heart, but with Your love shed abroad in me, that I have to fulfill the command of loving like You. Am I not Your branch, O my heavenly Vine? It is the fullness of Your life and love that flows through me in love and blessing to those around me. It is Your Spirit that, at the same moment, reveals what You are to me and strengthens me for what I am to be to others in Your name. In this faith, I dare to say, "Amen, Lord. Even as You do to me, I will also do to others."---end quote God is so gracious to us that even when He calls me to a task that to me is so incredibly difficult, He equips me and empowers me to do it. So often, I kick against that which He has placed before me. Yet He calls me to be hidden in Him and filled by Him. God of wonder how I praise you!!!

From "STREAMS IN THE DESERT" devotional:
The Summer Will Come by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman
"Therefore will the Lord wait, that he may be gracious unto you" (Isa. 30:18).
Where showers fall most, there the grass is greenest. I suppose the fogs and mists of Ireland make it "the Emerald Isle"; and whenever you find great fogs of trouble, and mists of sorrow, you always find emerald green hearts; full of the beautiful verdure of the comfort and love of God. O Christian, do not thou be saying, "Where are the swallows gone? They are gone; they are dead." They are not dead; they have skimmed the purple sea, and gone to a far-off land; but they will be back again by and by. Child of God, say not the flowers are dead; say not the winter has killed them, and they are gone. Ah, no! though winter hath coated them with the ermine of its snow; they will put up their heads again, and will be alive very soon. Say not, child of God, that the sun is quenched, because the cloud hath hidden it. Ah, no; he is behind there, brewing summer for thee; for when he cometh out again, he will have made the clouds fit to drop in April showers, all of them mothers of the sweet May flowers. And oh! above all, when thy God hides His face, say not that He hath forgotten thee. He is but tarrying a little while to make thee love Him better; and when He cometh, thou shalt have joy in the Lord, and shalt rejoice with joy unspeakable. Waiting exercises our grace; waiting tries our faith; therefore, wait on in hope; for though the promise tarry, it can never come too late. --C. H. Spurgeon
"Oh, every year hath its winter,
And every year hath its rain--
But a day is always coming
When the birds go north again.

"When new leaves swell in the forest,
And grass springs green on the plain,
And alders' veins turn crimson--
And the birds go north again.

"Oh, every heart hath its sorrow,
And every heart hath its pain--
But a day is always coming
When the birds go north again.

"'Tis the sweetest thing to remember,
If courage be on the wane,
When the cold, dark days are over--
Why, the birds go north again."

Monday...uhhh?!

What happened to Monday? I don't really remember. Was it "fibro-fog" or what. All I know is that I woke up not feeling too well (which isn't unusual), but as I finished Mom's bath I could sense I could go no more. So I was down for most of the day, other than doing breakfast, lunch, dinner, Mom's bath, meds, Mom's night routine, etc. - hey, now that I think about it, it wasn't a lost day after all. God is so good to me because even when I haven't the faintest idea what I am doing or how I am doing it, things still get done. Thank you Jesus for your strength to do that which needs to be done. He is so faithful! Feeling better today...thank you Jesus! His grace is sufficient for when I am weak HE IS STRONG!

It Might Be Today

My daughter shared this song with me today and the words are just what my spirit cries out. I love how the Lord gifts people to put into song what our hearts cry is. Here are the lyrics - "Though I don't see You still Lord I love You. You've given me hope; You've given me life. Through all my trials still Lord Your with me and I have Your word Your coming back for me. It might be today I look into Your eyes. Might be today I see Your face. Might be today you place Your wounded hands on my tear-stained face, it might be today."

IT MIGHT BE TODAY!!!

Search My Heart O God

From Victorious Christian Service by Alan Redpath
p. 157 - "Some years ago, when I was preaching at a little church on the south side of London, I was asked to visit a young woman who had been completely paralyzed for nine years. Up to the age of twenty-one she had been an active worker in the church and Sunday school, and God seemed greatly to have blessed her ministry. But suddenly she was stricken with this dreadful disease and since that time had never been able to move.

I gladly assented to go to see her, but as I went along the road to the house I wondered to myself, "What can I say to this dear soul? I have never known anything about suffering like that." And it seems to me that before you can really bring comfort to others you have to know something of the experience through which they have passed.

So I asked that the Lord would give me some word to say to her that might be a blessing, and as I knocked on the door, her mother answered and led me into the sick room. There lay this young woman, absolutely helpless, on her back. I went up to her bedside and began to utter a word of sympathy. She looked at me, and I shall never forget the look in her face when she said, "Please don't offer your sympathy. I don't need it. I would not have missed the experience of these past nine years for anything in the world.

"When I was twenty-one years of age serving the Lord at church," she said, "I remember yielding my life completely to Him, saying to Him, 'Lord, I am ready for anything You may want me to do for You or be for You.' Only a few weeks later His hand touched my body and laid me aside. Through these past years He has become so infinitely more precious to me than He could ever have been in all the busy round of Christian service."

As I listened to her, I felt so utterly unworthy, and I wondered just how much I had suffered for Jesus. It seemed to me here was a young woman, quite out of the public eye, who had been not laid aside in sickness but called aside for stillness, so that during these nine years the Lord had drawn so very close to her, and she to Him.

I discovered that she had a long prayer list, and every day she spent hours in prayer for missionaries, preachers, and teachers of the Word. She put me on her prayer list that day, and eternity alone will reveal how much I owe as a minister of the gospel to the prayers of that dear woman who for so long had been helpless and crippled. Surely this is just one example out of thousands where the Lord has permitted the suffering and the crushing that out of such a life there might come fragrance and fruitfulness and inspiration to others.

I believe the King of kings has a very special portion for such dear souls because their ministry is so mighty and so effective. Delegation, yes, to a very precious task but a very costly one. I wonder if you and I would be willing to have it delegated to us? Just suppose every bit of Christian work we do were taken from us, that our health and strength departed, and we were laid aside like that. Would we be bitter, or could we accept such a thing as from the hand of the Lord?

Somehow I feel that some day when we see our Lord face to face there will be come great surprises. Many of us who have held prominent positions in Christian work may not be so prominent then. Many who have been obscure, lonely souls, to whom little attention has been paid and whose ministry has never been recognized or praised, will be among those who are the first to hear His "Well done!" -- end of quote

--So easy to say, "Here I am, send me." Yet when you feel shelved and out of service (my view of service) it is so easy to feel lonely, useless and forgotten. This story, and other stories that have come my way, have been searching me and showing me how far I still have to go before "dying to self". This flesh dies o so slowly and o so painfully. To grow where we are planted. To learn to be content in all things. Hearing Pancho Juarez (pastor for Calvary Chapel Montebello) the other day he said something about the Lord pruning the fruit that is on the tree so that the tree can continue to give more fruit. He said that this was o so painful. And so we continue on this journey, this pilgrimage until we see Our Savior face-to-face and what a glorious day this will be. Then, nothing else will matter...even so come Lord Jesus!!!

Jesus Bring the Rain

Lately I've been "listening" to a song by Mercy Me called "Jesus Bring the Rain". My sarcasm gets the best of me and I think, "easy to say, bring whatever brings You glory" while you worship and praise the Lord, but then when things come our way, that are so incredibly difficult to understand or even fathom, we kind of back peddle and wonder why we said those words. So today as I saw a video, on my nieces "blog", of this song my heart simply melted. The Lord is so faithful to the work that He is doing in my life that He speaks to me from everywhere He can get my attention. Sometime ago He had showed me that "the sun" is still shining behind the dark clouds. It doesn't matter how dark and ominous the clouds might look or seem, the sun is behind them shinning with all its splendor. The clouds do not change the sun. So it doesn't matter how dark it might get around me, Jesus (the Son) is still shinning in all His glory and splendor. He remains the same. He also showed me how beautiful and clean everything looks after the storm. So as I ponder the words of this song, as My Jesus is teaching me to look unto Him, the Author and Finisher of my faith. May He give me the grace to say, "bring the rain, whatever brings You glory". If we are faithless, HE remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.

Trust God

He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shake. On God my salvation and my glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:6-8 ---I don't know what disappointments you have to face, Beloved, but I can tell you with utmost confidence that God is no respecter of persons, only a respecter of faith. Don't give up! Trust God's intentions and His capabilities. ---Kay Arthur

"The Warrior is a Child" by Twila Paris

Lately I've been winning battles left and right / But even winners can get wounded in the fight / People say that I'm amazing / strong beyond my years / But they don't see inside of me I'm hiding all the tears.
They don't know that I go running home when I fall down / They don't know WHO picks me up when no one is around / I drop my sword and cry for just a while / 'Cause deep inside this armour - The Warrior is a Child / Unafraid because His armour is the best / But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest / People say that I'm amazing / Never face retreat / But they don't see the enemies that lay me at HIS FEET
They don't know that I go running home when I fall down / They don't know WHO picks me up when no one is around / I drop my sword and look up for a smile / 'Cause deep inside this armour...The Warrior is a Child

Under His Wings

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!"...He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark. Psalm 91:1-2,4 ---Let's not leave the place of our appointment. There under the security of "His wings" we can dwell, knowing that whatever comes our way must first come through Him. He will be our shield. ---Kay Arthur

God's Hand is Evident

If anybody knows me they know that I am a "planner". My schedule is precious to me and I try to stay on track unless some drastic thing happens (like Mom's slurring speech together with not recognizing me and not being able to walk...how is that for a schedule breaker?!). Anyhow, today, after taking Mom to her dentist appointment (did I say appointment-ugh!) I proceeded with the rest of my day. Then my day was interrupted by my son's call that he needed a ride from work. Of course I did the usual and proceeded to call my hubby to pick our son after he got out of work (did I confuse you:}). I could not get ahold of my hubby so I started to "think" (my daughter says I think too much:+) how to get out of this errand. I already was into the rest of "my" day and nothing was going to change it. But somehow in my heart I knew I needed to go pick him up. So I, reluctantly, picked up my purse and the car keys and off I go. Of course in my mind I'm already thinking, "dinner is going to be late, cause this is cutting into my dinner preparation." Off I go into the sunset...oops sorry...into the freeway. Got there picked my son up and proceeded to make our way home. And then an extremely rare, but pleasant surprise took place, my son started to chat with me. What he shared really touched my heart and I will ponder it quite a bit. I got a glimpse into his heart...compose yourself Leti!!! Okay, where was I...okay we get home and I proceeded to start dinner with the head-knowledge that I was late. My hubby got home and I told him, "dinner will be late today". He was like, "okay." So there I was making rice, corn and chicken. Here is the kicker...ready...when I looked at the clock, thinking it was super-dooper late, it was only 4:00pm! We have dinner at 4:30pm...I know that is unheard of, but stay with me. The first thing that came to my mind was, "this is so God!" He took care of "my" schedule while I did "HIS" schedule. I know my time with my son was His will for me and so therefore He took care of what concerned me. He is so Faithful and concerned with every detail of my life. Thank you Jesus for your unconditional love!

Carvel Ice Cream...the simple things in life!

The Promises of God

For as many as are the promises of God, in Him they are yes; therefore also through Him is our Amen to the glory of God through us. 2 Corinthians 1:20 --- What do you do when you face "impossible" situations? You can decide there is no way out and run. You can be carried along by what you see, what you hear, what you're experiencing. Or you can choose the only option that comes with a warranty: run to the promises of God! --- Kay Arthur

Appointments, Appointments, Appointments

Hi Fellow Caregivers,
Grab your wheelchairs, walkers, potty chairs, etc. cause we are up and running or should I say crawling - lol! Yes, humor is medicine to the soul as one dear sister reminded us. That is why I use lots of humor and lots of sarcasm to get through the fog and the grind. September is gone and with it went lots and lots (did I say lots?) of appointments. I've done more cross-word puzzles than I can think of...given more medical history to last for all of history...pushed, pulled, grabbed, and sat and sat and sat...I'm tired just listing these things. Let me entertain you by telling you about "our" last appointment (lest I bore you with alllllll the others). We were at Mom's Geriatrics Doctor (for those not familiar with medical terminology - it is the old folk doctor - hey, I should make an appointment with him, maybe he can figure out what is wrong with "my" old body...sorry I kind went off on another subject:o) Anyhow, after waiting to be called and waiting in the room. We waited in the room for over an hour because they forgot about us (not the first time this happens, however it was the first time at this Doctor's office). I did more cross-word puzzles to avoid listening to whining. The Doctor finally showed up and we did our routine. He gave me some more work to do and other work to continue - yeah! the excitement was overwhelming!!! Then he said the nurse would be in to give Mom the flu shot and then we were good to go. Okay, things were looking up. The nurse came in and said, "I have your Mom's flu shot." I said, "Great, can you also give her a shot to put her to sleep?!" Yes, I know you are gasping and growning, as so was I when the nurse (who knows me very well) said to me, "Agg, I don't do that." Back peddling and realizing what has just came out of my mouth and was giggling and kind of laughing and said, "Uh, uh meant, you know a shot so she can uh take a nap, I mean sleep better..." Yes, you could cut the tension with a knife. Thank goodness Mom doesn't understand English, otherwise I would probably have a bruised back (she has a pretty heavy, free hand!). Yes, I survived and they let me out without calling The Elderly Abused Hotline...whew! I'm telling you when God said He uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise, I know He was thinking of me. Thank God for His long-suffering and patience.