Caregiving

You know lately I've been pondering this and have wondered. Before the Lord put me in this situation I don't ever remember even hearing the term/word "caregiving; caregiver, etc". I don't even recall running into this phenomenon. I wonder, do we fully understand the sphere and realms this covers? If you haven't been part of this world of caregiving, can you even understand the undertaking? I've found that unless you have been in the trenches with fellow caregivers you can't even touch what this all entails. I remember when this first started, trying to vent and cry and share with sisters-in-the-Lord. Hearing from them, "this is an answer to prayer" "this is what you prayed for" - uh, this is what I prayed for?! Day in and day out you wonder, "am I doing more harm than good?" "is this day ever going to end", yet you know that at the end of this day, there will still be the next day. Just yesterday as I walked into Mom's room and saw what looked like blood on her pillow (granted I was already tired, yes, tired at 7:30am, and not feeling good) and the first thought is "o no, she is bleeding again!" So, I calmly walk over, give her her meds and walk over to the bed. I calmly asked, "are you bleeding again?" She, with a sheepish look gave me this song and dance about having fallen asleep with a chocolate in her mouth - don't even go there!!! It was all over the pillow case, the cover, etc. However, she swears it was only the leftover residue of a whole piece of chocolate...which she shouldn't have been eating at night anyway - okay, I've calmed down. (I won't bore you with the rest of the details.) Then it was bath time. Then (hallelujah, praise you Jesus!) after 6 weeks of doing a particular task, yesterday was the last day! Yeah! I refuse to think about what will happen next...this is the only way I can keep my sanity...thank you very much! Anyhow, sometimes I wonder, I ponder and I know that there are others out there that have it much worse than I do. I know their days are filled with so much more and so much aggravation, tiredness and frustration that they can't see straight. Because I trust and believe in a loving, all-knowing God I can say with assurance "it will all work out for good to those that love God and that are the called according to His purpose". No, this is not a cliche answer, it is God's Word and God always keeps His Word to us. If I didn't have this hope and belief, I would have already gone somewhere far-far-away and camped out in a tree, meditating upon my navel. All this to say, please pray for those around you that you know are caring for someone. Ask if they need help (and caregivers, don't feel too sufficient not to accept the help offered-we are that way, you know). If they are homebound, come and have a cup of coffee with them. On a side note, I remember once when two of my dear friends came to my door with Starbucks and simply sat and heard me vent and cry. My house was a mess and I was a mess, yet all that didn't matter. The Lord had brought to me two special angels to sit with me and hear my cry. Another time another sister came to the hospital (I think it was 10pm). I thought she was there to visit Mom, yet she walked over to me, held my hand and simply sat with me - thank you Jesus for those special things that you do for me that are so incredibly personal. That's it for now. I can't stop crying, but I am thankful for God's reminder to me of those beautiful moments that He has given me through others...I tend to forget amidst the grind. "He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it. 2 Thessalonians 5:24"